A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So my girlfriend of 5 years ended things over something that most of our friends claim was not a big deal because they understood it as a joke. She however is not the joking type sometimes and over-reacted. I understand why she was upset at some of the stuff but she still went a little extreme. Now she has kicked me out of the house and I have no where to permanent place to live and no job. We are in North Carolina and my family lives in Minnesota so its hard to just drive on home. Now before people start saying "get a job you lazy bum". I am a full time student and disabled veteran. I have been trying extremely hard since I got out of the military to find a job but still nothing. Anyways, I am just confused because we still talk all the time and when she needs help with something she calls me. Also, whenever I stay over there for the night, we end up having sex. She says she is done with me but doesn't act like it. I know most people will say to just pack up and leave but its not that simple in my situation. It has been nearly a month and this is still going on. Is there hope or is she just playing with me?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2012): Thanks for the responses everyone. For you to have a better understanding as to why she kicked me out, here it is. So my girlfriend has two children, a daughter who is 17 and a son who is 9. I love both of them like my own. FYI her daughter and I are closer in age (11 years) than my girlfriend and I (15 years). I try to treat them more like friends instead of an authority figure because I didn't want to be one of those asshole step dads or boyfriends that you hear about all the time. Well her daughter and I would just text and joke around. Nothing sexual or explicit but since she has self esteem problems I would tell her she is a pretty girl which she is but she always got picked on when she was younger by classmates. Nothing intimate, just trying to make her feel better about herself. One of the "jokes" we made was the fact that I was going to buy both her and her daughter some Coach purses since they don't have anything really nice like that. Well her daughter text me asking if I was really going to buy her one and I said yes and one for her mom too cause if I don't she will kill me. Just a joke and innocent but her mom took it that wrong way thinking I was saying that I HAD to buy one for her if I wanted to buy one for daughter.Another misinterpreted comment was that her daughter and I wanted to watch a movie (21 Jump Street) but since it was rated R we didn't think it would be ok for her 9 year old son. With both her daughter and I understanding what we were talking about, I wrote we can do that when we are alone tomorrow. Meaning when her brother was at his friends we will watch the movie. Well since the movie was not mentioned in the text, her mom thought of more inappropriate things.I completely understand with the way the world is today, you need to be more careful and protective because of all the creeps out there but I am not one of them and she knows that but with all the stories on the news of step dads or boyfriends doing things to the younger daughters, it has her a little freaked out sometimes. I admit I could have worded some of the messages better to prevent this from happening but that's all in hindsight now. FYI, the friends I have talked to are mature adults who are parents and friends with both of us. So its not like I am talking to some immature military buddies. They all agree she is giving me mixed messages and are just as confused as I am.We still talk daily and she asks me for help with certain things around the house and yard but because I cannot say no to her I always do it but she still refuses to let me be at home around her kids, mainly her daughter.This happened all nearly a month ago and the daily calls and sex when I do get to sleep over when the kids aren't home still happen. I know her daughter is still upset about it cause she knows her mom over-reacted and her son wants me back too. In fact, her daughter has expressed interest in going to college in my home town if I end up moving back there. Not a bad choice since it is one of the top schools in the country for her degree she wants (Pharmacy) and she has the grades to get in. I know if she does go there I would most likely stay in contact with her just to make sure she is safe in a unfamiliar place. Nothing romantic, I don't see her like that and she doesn't see me like that.That's pretty much it and hopefully it helps everyone with a better understanding of the situation. Thanks again.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 July 2012):
 I agree with PerhapsNot..
Fill in that piece and who knows what it will tell.
If your friends think the joke was so funny, live with them.
She might just use you for sex now, as it is convenient. She doesn't have to "take care" of you and your needs but she gets sex with a familiar person.
I don't think she will cave in and take you back. She gets what she wants from you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2012): Until we know why, we won't be able to help you fix this.
If your guy friends or military/veteran buddies found something funny, a woman may find it cruel, terrible, or in poor taste. I'm guessing you offended her sensibilities.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (25 July 2012):
 Well, your story is missing a big piece and that piece is: WHY did she kick you out?
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