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age
30-35,
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writes: One of my friends, "X", is very pretty and outgoing. (We're all in our 20's) She has a lot of friends and is very social. The thing is, when I am with her alone, she makes fun of me. X is totally different when it's just me and her. She will make fun of the way I look- how my nose is too big and teeth are too small. She says I look like a boy and won't find a boyfriend. She always has a boyfriend and rubs it in my face. I try distancing myself from her, but she cries and tells everyone I'm the one being mean! They know how she is, but they take her side and tell me to be nice. I don't know how she gets all of these guys, because while she may be pretty on the outside, the inside is a different story. I feel like it's all my fault because people tell me to be nice to her, when she is not nice to me. They look at me like I'm the bad friend. Sometimes it seems like they take her side because she is prettier than me. What should I do? How do I handle this?
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female
reader, Catharsis  +, writes (29 July 2012):
 If she feels that there is no need to talk, then she is not willing to resolve the issue or tensions between the two of you.
At this point I would strongly recommend no longer being friends with this girl. If you really don't like the way she treats you or the way she acts, then I see no reason to be her friend.
Your other friends should be respectable and mature enough to accept your refusal to associate with her. You don't have to ignore her or disown her or anything, no, simply tell her (if you want) that you are unsure you want to be her friend.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe thing is, I already tried talking with her. I suggested we get together in person and talk, but she just told me that I was the one with the problems. I've been more than patient with her. It just bothers me because even though people know how she is, they still take her side. It's like she wins every time! It's not fair. I don't know how she can get all these guys either when she acts like this.
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female
reader, Catharsis +, writes (25 July 2012):
Look at it this way: Is she your friend, personally? Or is she friends with people you're friends with?If she's not a personal friend of yours, then it is completely unreasonable for you to have to put up with this sort of treatment.Now, if she is a personal friend, maybe instead of completely cutting off from her or arguing with her about this, why don't you talk to her? I know it's a lot more difficult when it comes down to it, but do you really want to continue this?Try and sit her down and talk to her. Tell her that the things she says hurt you. She may be joking and may not realize how it affects you. Either way, tell her that it hurts your feelings that she makes fun of your appearance. She needs to know that it isn't alright to say what she says to you, even if it's just the two of you. If she persists to taunt you and I guess rub her boyfriends in your face, then that's when you need to take action. I'm aware you are older but I feel this is extremely childish on her part.I doubt that your other friends side with her because of her appearance, but, since I am not in your situation, I can't say for sure.Whatever the case, keep in mind that you are perfect the way you are despite what she says. If your friendship ends with her and she tries to turn everyone against you, you'll have to ride it out. Things will work out if you have patience and talk to people that you have issues with.Holding these doubts and hopeless feelings is no way for a friendship to continue.You have to confront her, but do it calmly. Just sit and talk. Try not to take what she says about you to heart! Often times those who pick on others are insecure about themselves. She may be jealous of you, and therefore tempted to make it seem that she's better.In any case, I hope this helps.-Catharsis
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