A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of 20 months just decided that she wanted a "break" in order to enjoy being "single" again and wants to try dating other people (thought she doesn't have anyone in mind). She also says it'll be healthy for us because she felt like we've been doing too much together. However, she still wants to get back together with me and even set a deadline (after three months) when she wants to come back to me...What does that mean? What should I do?
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (28 April 2008):
 This can mean that she is dumping you. Like Collaroy said, this is not a gentle way to do it, but a cruel one, as it gives you false hope.
It could also mean that she does have someone in mind, and she wants to sleep with that person without giving you an option to complain.
Whatever is happening, people who are in love don't ask for breaks to feel what it is like to be single.
If I were you, I would give her a break that would last forever. You're not a toy, poster: she can't have you now, and then not, and then have you again. If you let her do it, it will never stop. And, if she has just dumped you (which is, I'm sorry to say, most likely), then you don't have a reason to waste your time agonizing over her.
Move on to happier times, poster.
By the way, if she asks you to start over, say no. You may think this is a bad idea, but it isn't. You don't want this fickle a person with you. You need certaintly and clarity.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): This doesn't sound a whole lot different from a breakup except that she expects to get back with you later.
If you two decide to go on this "break" thing, she's gonna sleep around during that time. She'll probably have been with several guys by the time it's over.
Don't kid yourself that she won't do this. As a guy you would actually have to make the effort to go sleep around when you two separate. But all she has to do is not turn guys down.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (28 April 2008):
 Hi,
sorry dude, but it looks like she is over you. the three months timeframe is just a way of letting you down easily.
The alternative of course is for you to sit around waiting for her while you see her walking around in the arms of other guys - enjoying her break.
I think this is a rather cruel way to break up with someone as you actually believe that she will be there for you somewhere down the line. Get used to the fact that she won't. It's not impossible that you won't meet up in the future and at the end of the day you are better of finding this out now than in 10 years , but see this for what it is , a breakup,you need to move on with your life.
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A
female
reader, lyd_foster  +, writes (27 April 2008):
 Well mostof the time when this happens, im sorry to say, but she may be thinking things are boring
rite now one of my friends have said this to their bf
I even did it at one point
and to be honest i think that it may have been to get the attention of my boyfriend.
But if that isnt the case then maby she realy dose need a break and it all come down to how you treat each other
if it was a good relationship then i dont know
but if you were arguing and pushing each other away she might feel that it is more fun to be single.
Because lets face it who wants to be arguing all the time
my advice would be to talk to her talking is the best option, make sure that you two are completly honest with each other
and after all maby i break would be good
Good luck
=]
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