A
male
age
41-50,
*amarpan
writes:Hi guys, i need ur help, please advice me. i am unmarried guy. myself and my coworker friend fell in love during our job though she was my college friend but at that time we just rarely talk to each other i was shy.we love each other after joining job especially me. she has a boyfriend earlier whom she did not married or they themselves not marry becoz of religion.after her boyfriend marriage, she became close friend and fell in love with me ofcourse i love her right from the day she joins. we were together 24hrs for 4yrs (no sex but kisses was common. than last year she married according to her family we could not marry becoz of religion though she never said me to marry neither i said. we both were hesitant becoz of religion. after her marriage our freindship continues for 2 years as her husband works in different country.now her husband has come back she has changed i can understand but that does mean that she cannot talk to me as a friend. thinking all thesis i also stop mailing me or contacting her.what she does she just mail me after 15 days to say how r you. she did not say anything about her neither asking about me in detail.though we are coworker, i love her truely from the heart still i think about her 24hrs may be she will talk to my like a close good friend (not expected kisses etc) but close friendship as she earlier.sometimes i think she uses me becoz after her boyfriend marriage she make me her alternative or now after her marriage she has other option of her husband.I mean she needs someone to share, joy, or love her.??? Is it true . i must also say that she is very good friend and very kind at heart.I want be her good friend for whole life but it looks she did not want.what should i do with her mail which just say hi hello or what should i do when she say hi to me in office.i cant change my job neither she for 6months after she might leave this country with her husband.but this 6 months how i should behave with her as i know she can't be freind as she used to be earlier.please advice me
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male
reader, samarpan +, writes (11 February 2012):
samarpan is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, i feel little relaxed .
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2012): If she says hi you can be polite and say hello back to her. But you should move on from her, and look to find a new girlfriend, one who will be available. You need to stop focusing on her.Your'e right she has been using you. Only when her first boyfriend left then did she come to you. Then she was happy to be with you while her husband was away but now that he's back she's keeping you at a distance because she wants to be committed to him. That's all fine and well for her marriage (she should be committed to her husband if she's married) but it's very unfair to you. Bottom line is that she should not have got involved with you at all. She should not have got so close to you when she knew she had no intention to marry you, and when she became married. She was just using you all along to make herself feel better - i.e. she wants to feel loved and have someone to share joy with. Nothing wrong with this, who doesn't want this?but she's going about it all wrong. She's trying to juggle so many men. That's not how it should be. How it should be is you decide on ONE person to be your partner, you don't try to juggle different people because that way she will always be letting someone down because she can't be in two places at the same time. She makes commitments to one man (her husband) but betrays him when he's away. Then she leads you on to expect a relationship with her only to go back to her husband when he's around. she may not have evil intentions to hurt you or him but still this is called yanking people around because she can't make up her mind and decide so she wants to keep all options so in the end it is very selfish of her, and it's a very disgraceful way to behave.you should not be involved with someone like this. You can be a "friend" but from a distance, dont' get close to her again. if she says hi, say hi back to be polite but that's all. Stop thinking about her, instead concentrate on finding a new woman who can be a real girlfriend to you.
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