A
male
age
41-50,
*orbandallas
writes:I recently broke up with my girlfriend. We seem to get into arguments that I believe are over small stupid things, but she doesn't see it that. I rarely stand up for myself, but after this last one I have just had enough.This is what happened:It was her birthday, I was very sick (possible strep throat) and was sent home from work. I was going to bbq steaks for us (her favourite) but was too ill to pick up propane or go to the grocery store. I told her this, she was ok with it. She asked if she could do anything for me, and I said it would be nice if she could drop by with some canned soup. She wanted to go out with her friends instead of hangout with me, which I completely understand. So she comes over with left over soup from her bday party with her friends the night before. we eat, she goes to leave, I go to kiss her goodnight, she shoves me away. I tell her I love her and she storms out. This kind of thing happens once a month and I'm left clueless. Now heres what gets me. I call the next day and she doesn't want to see me. She thinks I wasn't all that sick, and that I basicaly ruined her bday! My throat was in agony. Anyways, I told her I would make it up to her, but she doesn't want to talk to me. Next day I told her I made reservations she doesn't care texts me "take care". She likes to pull the "I;m breaking up with you" card farely often.I've had enough, I tell her I need a break, and that I don't deserve to be treated this way. She texts me later, apologizes, says that I hurt her and that she wants to take a break too.Now that I have done this I realize I've been manipulated into feeling guilty for things that aren't my fault. Also, I think she lies to me often. I've caught her in little white lies, half truths, discrepancies in her storries. Once I found out she was hanging out with a guy and her sister, when she told me she was just with her sister. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but there are other things that bother me. She's Korean, and works for a korean company, and apparently it's part of their culture that they go out drinking frequently after work. It's on average 2 nights a week, were she will rarely come over after (We don't live together). I'm beginning to wonder if she's seeing someone. She always locks her phone, but before should would let me see her enter her password if she wanted to show me a picture, but not anymore. I did creep her phone before and found pictures of her with some friends in a pub with a guy who had his arm around her, probably just a friend. The thing is she's so manipulative I don't know if I believe what she tells me anymore. Anyways, she storms out on me frequently over the smallest things, she won't talk to me for days, or she will break up with me. We have been together for 6 months and I just recently went to Korea to meet her parents. I'm so frustrated, hurt, andgry and now I'm not sure if I believe what she tells me.I don't know what to do, I tried to end it today and it was incredibly difficult because I really love her, but I find myself constantly getting hurt.Advice?Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Candid Cally  +, writes (7 January 2012):
I would like to point out that you attempted to KISS her, while probably Infected with STREP THROAT which is highly CONTAGEOUS. Honestly, I have pushed my fiancé away for trying to kiss me when he had it last.
You have to try to see that episode from her point of view. If she caught strep from you, then she wouldn't be able to work.
If she didn't care, she would have gone to the bar without bringing you soup on her birthday.
But, ultimately, you need to decide whether you see a future with her, or whether you can be in a relationship with her, or whether her attitude and the locked phone are enough to make this break permanent.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2012): If she lies and tries to manipulate you, you certainly made the right choice in taking a break. If you're still unwilling to let go, talk to her.
Tell her all the things that she did which made you mad.
x
hope it goes well :)
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (6 January 2012):
 My advice? You are currently on a break from her, I would make it a permanent break!
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