A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I recently went through a break-up. We did our fair share of dirty deeds while we were seperated, but when we got back together we asked each other about the things we had done(not really the best idea we ever had). I told her of the four girls I had been with(with protection). She told me of the one guy she had been with (with protection)and no one else. I found out two months after we got back together, that she had been with six guys total(without any protection at all). The sadest part was...I didn't hear it from her. I can barely stand to look at her because of my disgust for her actions and her lies, but at the same time I am head over heels in love with her. What should I do stay or leave?
View related questions:
a break, got back together, her past Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2007): The past can affect the present. God forbid she gives you a STD now for her PAST mistakes. I would be very cautious, if you plan on staying with her. You can work things out. get eachother checked out for STDS and be honest with each other.
A
female
reader, raq  +, writes (6 March 2007):
 Her past is HER past. Move on
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007): Tricky situation when you experience love and pain together, isn't it? It's a painful thing being lied to by someone you love. But if you can, put your emotional feelings aside for a moment. What was the motive behind her lying to you? Do you think she wanted to keep it a secret because she was out having such fantastically great sex with these 6 guys and she wanted to keep it her little fun secret?I don't think so. I suspect she felt more ashamed and that if you knew what she had done you would judge her badly for being with these other men. I would imagine actually that she probably feels that she wished that you guys had never broken up at all and so none of these extra people would have even been in the picture.People react very differently when they break up from someone they love or care deeply for. I was suspect for your girlfriend to sleep with 6 guys without using protection that she really loved you and was hurt that you were no longer with her.With that said - can you really leave her for the choices she made in the past? Or should you love her more than you ever have done and make sure this doesn't happen again?
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (27 February 2007):
 No, you are spot on there, it definitely wasn't the best idea to ask each other about your infidelities! You have a cheek to turn round and say you are filled with disgust about what she's done! She only had 2 more lovers than you did!!!! Yes, not using protection was very silly of her, I agree but did you confirm this with her? She didn't tell you about having slept with these guys in case you thought bad of her (and she was right) but what you did, doesn't make you a saint either!
Forget your past, if you love one another then make a clean start of things and that includes both of you going to get checked out for STD's! Don't be so quick to jump into bed with the next available person if things don't work out, it just makes you both sound so desperate and cheap!
Eve
...............................
|
