A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,My girlfriend left me just before christmas which was pants lol.The reason for it was that she had developed feeling for her flat mate, I was really good when it happened just said what ever and said good luck even though I felt differently, she went back up home for christmas for the week came back and I got my stuff. Her flat mate has allways liked her since they moved in together atleast year before she met meA week later I got my stuff from her flat and went just saying thankyou, in the past 3 weeks since the break up I have not phoned text etc. I found out that she is now going out with her flat mate for sure and we all went out for a birthday party at the weekend, I was just being myself and having a laugh with my friends and dancing with girls etc, I have been really mature about the situation and I am just getting on with being me and enjoying life. However some friends believe the relationship they have will not last as the guy she is with is really lazy drinks alot aswell as work in the local pub with her and has never had a girlfriend in his life where as she is more experienced and will soon get bored.I dont think she will come back and I do not want her back after what she has put me through over christmas etc but I do want to be prepaired in my head to say the rite things if or should she decide to try and get back with me.Just need some advise to get my head straight and be prepaired for any eventuality.Thanks!
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christmas, flatmate, moved in, never had a girlfriend, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (13 January 2011):
 Yeah I know it's hard to just forget about someone. It took me a while to forget about a past gf and we saw each other alot after we broke up. I wouldn't pass up doing anything that you do for fun, running in to her may be hard now but every time it happens it will get easier and easier. It helps to have as much fun as you can and see your friends, it does really help to keep you strong and let your mind move on.
Maybe one of your friends knows someone who can be introduced to you or you can check for activities to do in your area. Something like co-ed sports or that because you have a way better chance to meet someone who is driven to do well.
Clubs really aren't the place to meet girls although it can happen. My advice for that would be don't drink too much and look for someone who really isn't drinking and instead of trying to dance with them just try to have a conversation. I met one girl in the bar like that and although we never dated she turned out to be a really nice person. The nice ones tend to be the ones who seem shy and don't respond well to someone who is drunk. Good girls go to the bar to, it's just less often.
I hope something works out for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, thanks for the help!,
I have been an idiot in the past with other ex's when breaking up and thought this time I am just going to ignore my feeling's as much as possiable this time around, the only thing is she and him keep poping up in my head even though I know I can not go back I have to move on, I know time will heal me and I will forget about her etc, just hard to be strong when I see them which is not alot anyway but I did not enjoy the last night out one bit inside of me it was killing me abit even though I was showing I was happy on the outside. Should I take a break from going out clubing etc if I run the risk of bumping into them and just visit my mates at their houses? and secondly I do want to meet someone nice and worth it and I know it can take time however the only place to do it around here seem's to be the pub or club out with my mate's and I dont really fancy one night stands and meeting drunk girls that dont know what they are doing lol
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (13 January 2011):
It sounds like you are on the right track. Keep in your mind that if she does come back you need to tell her that she has hurt you and you have moved on and it's best if she does the same. You seem like you would make this sound as nice a possible as I do believe that you do still care about her. Tell your self this each day for a while and it shouldn't be a problem.
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