A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi there, please give me some advice i'm so upset!long story short, we had been together nearly 2 years. me and my girlfriend broke up in november, i broke up with her because she told me to go and die and showed me no respect. we were trying to work through it and it was obvious we would be getting back together. at a friends party she tried to talk to me and kiss me and she kept telling me she loved me, i was upset. fast forward to now, 3 months later i find out from a friend that the night of a party as another friend was dropping her off at home, she kissed him. and groped his crotch. obviously i'm devastated, i broke up with her again and i don't know what to do. we were broken up at the time, but only for a week. i'm so angry and her and my friend (who she kissed) for not telling me for all this time. part of me wants to be with her still, because i love her and i'm insecure. but another part hates her and i feel sick when i think about her. please give me some advice, it's ruining my friendship circle, it's making me sad all the time. i can't sleep, i can't think, i can't eat all i want to do is cry. please ,give me some advice.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): I think it's time to let this relationship go. Neither of you seems to truly be in this thing, her especially so. If you were it wouldn't matter who or what she kissed when you two broke up. And if she did... she wouldn't be groping guys when she's supposed to be all L-Word with you.
She seems confused about what she wants and who she wants to be as a person. Let her go and find those things out and go and find someone who isn't just going to cause you pain... preferably one who is an actual lesbian.
Flynn 24
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): You pushed her away when she tried to kiss you to make up with you and now your upset about what she did,your at fault here if you hadnt behaved in such a childish way it would never had happened 2 choices either you get over it or move on
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 February 2012):
 She doesn't owe it to you to inform you about what she did when you weren't together as a couple. I understand that you feel deceived, but you need to face the facts. You weren't together! You dumped her. Maybe it was obvious to you that you would get back together, but maybe it wasn't so obvious to everyone else. And if it was SO obvious then you should have never broken up to begin with, if you "knew" you would get back together.
Stop playing games. Don't break up with people to punish them only to "know we will get back together" afterwards. Because it doesn't work like that, you don't get to break it off and still have every privilege as you had when you were in a relationship. You didn't want her to kiss anyone else? You shouldn't have dumped her then.
All I can say is that maybe you shouldn't have worked to get back together with her, but actually meant what you said and ended things when you supposedly ended them. Let her go. I don't blame her for kissing someone else, she had been dumped, people go through a lot of emotions then, they do things. So maybe she deserved to be dumped and you and her shouldn't be together, but if so then why did you take her back? Doesn't make sense.
Make up your mind. Did you still want to be in a relationship with her? Then you made a huge mistake by dumping her. Did you mean to dump her? Then walk away and don't look back. What's done is done, if you can't get over it then so be it, but move on. I probably wouldn't get over such a thing either, but then again I do not dump people to prove a point. Once dumped I realize there is a chance of them kissing others or finding someone else, and I do not take it for granted that we'll get back together. Because usually when you dump someone they become your ex, permanently.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 February 2012):
To be honest, you should just leave her well in the past. If someone told me to go die, I'd just move on with my life.
You can do better than this.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (21 February 2012):
 HI
This is appauling behavour from her, an argument or not to say such an awful thing is so wrong. Simply clawing all over you and saying she loves you just dont sit well. Yet you got back together......only for her to disrespect you and herself in this manner by kissing and gropping your friend!!! As hard as it is right now, you really need to let this girl go, she quite clearly has no respect for you or your feelings. I know you love her, but be honest with yourself if I said to you the exact same thing what would you tell me to do? you would probably say WTF tell them to jog on. it's always hard to go through a break up, but I doubt she is feeling how you are right now! As your in the same circle of friends I would act like nothing is bothering you , as hard as this will be, because after a while you really will see the light and find the perfect girl for you, one who will love and respect you , just how it should be..
Hope this helps
Mandy x
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A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (21 February 2012):
 Hi, So let me get this straight...you and your gf broke up....you guys were talking about getting back together. She tries to initiate conversation and affection with you at a party...and you give her the brush off. She gets a lift home with one of your mutual friends who she kisses and fondles...and you're upset? She tried to talk to you and YOU brushed her off. You two were not in a relationship. Now if she makes you feel ill cause she told you to go die and disrespected you, I would say...hats off to you...that's not nice.....but you're feeling sick because she exercised a choice to kiss someone else when you refused to give her attention. That's her choice love...you two aren't together. If anything...this could actually be the deciding factor in your relationship if you want someone that fickle in your life. But to say that you are upset because she kissed someone else when you were on a break....you were on a break. Your friend doesn't need to tell you...that's his business ...if you love her, I suggest you honestly talk to her but I'm sorry, I don't see how you can get upset....you exercised your choice to not talk to her at a party when she was obviously reaching out to you...and she exercised her choice to reach out to someone else...albeit in a strange way. If this isn't her usual behaviour...maybe she was intoxicated...only way to find out is to have that chat.Good Luck
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