A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there ive been with my girlfriend for about 8 months and we are very much in love. I love her more than anything and she is the most improtant person in my life. Thing is recently she has started becoming grumpy and crabby quite a lot. She has said things to me like I dont kiss her like the way i used cos my lips are wetter for some reason amongst other things and she thinks i can be too intense sometimes like holding her hand too much or kissing her on the hand, lips, shoulder, her head whatever. Which to be honest really hurt me. She doesnt seem to talk to me as much as she does other people, she'll be quiet with me in the car or at hers but when we go over to a pals house shell be laughing and joking with them but then is quiet again when me and her are alone. She says everything is fine and has told me she loves me but im not sure wth everything else that has been happening. Whenever I try to talk to her about problems she can sometimes but not always get annoyed because she thinks its not a big deal but anything she wants to talk to me about I will always listen and take what she says on board. Now I am a very touchy feel kind of person it was how I was raised. But I know she isnt. The thing is she can be but not always. I mean I dont know if she is stressed about trying to get a flat or something else in her life but she seems to take it on me and no one else. Even if she gets a phone call she will be laughing and joking with the person then the same way she was with me when she is off the phone. Im just confused and feeling a bit rejecting. I dont know if Im being paranoid or too over sensitive but I dont know where else to turn or what to do. Thanks in advance for any help or advice any person can give me. xx
View related questions:
kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Too Sensitive  +, writes (27 January 2009):
Hell no, you are not being paranoid nor oversensitive! It is hurtful when we see our partner behaving in a positive happy way with others but not with us. It makes us think our partner is not happy with us, but is capable of being happy with others, so what's the problem with us?
Did she ever act happy with you and now she doesn't? To me that could be an indication of an issue between the two of you, esp. if she is reluctant to discuss it with you. Or, she may be feeling depressed about something and finds it easier to mask her behavior with others, but feels most comfortable with you, which is why you are the one seeing her true behavior and not them. Depressed people often internalize their feelings and are not always willing to share. If this is the case, do ask her from time to time (without pestering) what if anything is wrong. She may not want to talk at first, but eventually she will see that you care. Let her know that you will not judge her, but merely want to help.
Or was she always on the serious reserved side with you? And you didn't think she had it in her to even laugh or joke much if at all? Then one day you see her acting this way with others and it comes as a complete surprise to you that she even has this side to her personality? If this is the case, she may not feel comfortable enough with you to let her hair down, though she should if she is in a relationship with you. I went through something similar with my fiance.
Your gf may not be happy in your relationship, and this could be her way of letting you know. It's impossible to say whether or not it is an issue that can be worked through. It all depends on the issue, and the motivation of both of you. If you want to work it out and she doesn't...well, just try to be prepared for anything.
I understand how you feel - I would be hurt too. I think the only way to get to the bottom of this is to sit her down and have a talk with her. Let her know how her behavior is making you feel. Tell her you need to know why she is behaving this way. And that you deserve to know why she is behaving this way. Whether it is a problem within your relationship, or a problem that exists outside of your relationship. Good luck, and let us know how things are going.
|
