A
male
age
30-35,
*occerplaya11
writes:Hey all,i've been with my girlfriend for almost 5 months now and everything has been pretty much smooth sailing. a little rough patch here or there but everything else has been great!the only problem i have though is that whenever something happens to her like if she is called a bitch by a guy or something over a text she automatically goes to some of her guy friends from her middle school last year, instead of coming to me first or letting me help the situation first.now her guy friends are bigger than me and have more fighting experience (a few of them have been to juvy) so do you think she feels more safe with them ? or what because im getting tired of being 2nd to know. i mean i have had some fighting experience and for my size hold up pretty well but i have been thinking maybe she doesnt feel like i can handle situations like these ?I dont know what to think, i mean she is great and i love her but it just seems like shes having a hard time letting go of those guys.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (25 April 2009):
Maybe she doesn't want to have a boyfriend who is a thug who goes round being violent.
She's going out with you probably because you are sweet and lovely.
She has these guys because they look after her but she is just not interested in them.
Just tell her that you wish she would tell you her problems. If someone calls her a name then she needs to learn to laugh in their face and not go running off to start fights.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): Have you told her how you feel about this? Maybe she doesn't realise how this is bothering you.
You said that she seems to be finding it hard to let go of those other guys. I can understand how it must hurt to know that, when your girlfriend has problems, she goes to other people first. But if these guys are her friends, then it could just be natural for her.
A lot of the time, when people have problems, they tend to talk to their friends about it, rather than their boyfriend or girlfriend. This isn't because they can't talk to their partner about it though! It just happens! Perhaps this is what your girlfriend is doing.
It could also be that she sees your relationship together as very special, so when she has problems, she would rather keep it out of the relationship, and discuss it with her friends instead.
If, like you say, things are generally fine between you two, then I would try not to worry about this. But if it is bothering you that much, then try telling her. Like I said, she might not realise how you feel.
Good luck!
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