A
male
age
36-40,
*aulo8519
writes:Hey guys i am in a bit of a struggle here i've in a relationship with my girl for about 8 months already, ok basically i am a bit lost because we dont live close to each other i am a Marine stationed in DC and well she lives in Roanoke Va anyways we keep in contact by phone for the most part and well usually spend the weekends" atleast once a month" togheter but lately since she graduated from her university she has been acting weird " she moved back to her parents house which is in Roanoke" anyways lately when I txt her or call her she doesnt reply back at all " yesterday she did not reply back at all"and if she does she says thats she is really busy when i talk to her and tell her that i want to see her in the coming weekend she would say yes but then in the middle of the weekday she would change her mind and say " you know what babe im so sorry but you can't come" so i have not seen her for almost 2 months, guys and girls i dont know whats wrong with her i need some help because im very confused and well yes hurt atm because she says that she loves me, how she misses me, how i treat her good, and how she really wants me to be a part of her life forever i am the type of guy who believes in love i am a gentleman yes confident and well i really love her also but i dont know whats going on with her i am trying my best and i feel like garbage when she doesnt reply back to me, am i a fool to love help me please
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): Samething is happening to me right now. My solution. Let her go. As much as I hate to do this, is the only logical thing to do. Move on. That is what I'm doing now.... it hurts to leave the girl you love... but when she starts ignoring you..things will get worse from there..
A
female
reader, kittikat +, writes (25 May 2008):
 Geez! The military did this to me too! Just kidding, I did it to myself. Fell in love with a guy knowing that the Air Force would move us apart. My man and I have been together for 6 years and have spent the majority of that time stationed at different bases. Well, a few years at least. It's hard, it really is. When you're in a long distance relationship, communication becomes even more important. Your phone becomes the most important object you own :-) I know, I'm there. The thing that you have to remember is that her life is going on in Roanoke and yours is truckin along in DC. If you feel her slipping away, it could be that she's busy, but it may also be that she's in self-discovery mode. Talk to her about it. All you two have right now is that phone. Good communication skills are so vital for you two. It can make you feel like a crazy person when she doesn't get back to you right away- trust me I know! Honey, you may have to seriously consider where this relationship is going. Have you talked about your future yet? I mean, you have to know that there's an end to it all. The long-distance thing. If not, then do you want to spend so much important time hanging on to this "dream" of a girl? You'll both change in LDR's, simply because you're both experiencing so much apart from eachother. I'm not saying it's impossible- I've done it, but it takes two very strong, commited people to make it happen. And, a lot of trust. If she's being vague about what she's doing, of course you're going to fill in the blanks with your imagination. It's a very tough and unique situation. What happens when you deploy? I've been there too and you'll have enough to worry about aside from what your girl's doing stateside. If she's not really there for you now, do you want to chance it in Iraq or Afghanistan? You won't be able to call or text her all day long and if comm's out, you may not get a chance to talk to her for days. What will be going through your mind then? I say that you need to talk to her about where this is all going and what she needs and expects out of this relationship and of course, tell her what you need and expect. Hopefully you'll be able to come to an agreement and understanding, but if not, you may have to look at what you're doing in a different light. Hope this helped, good luck!
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (25 May 2008):
 One more possibility -- she could also be stressed about finding a job and paying off those student loans that she's probably collected. That would stress anyone out!
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (25 May 2008):
Here's a thought for you... you actually touched on the roots of it yourself. Have you ever been to her parent's home in VA? Do you know if she has happy thoughts about it?
Why am I asking? It seems to me that her attitude changed once she left college (where she was an independent) to go spend time at "home" (where her parents may be treating her like a "dependent" child again). After being on your own for years, then returning home can effect your outward demeanor... it did mine... that's why I made that stepping stone from college to "real life" as quickly as possible.
So, here's a suggestion. Invite her to DC instead of waiting for permission to visit in VA. Get her out of her parent's home and back out where it's just the two of you. Go take some time, get a nice hotel room downtown, take in the sites and relax with each other... AWAY from the parent's place and all the baggage that might be there. During that visit, take some time to express to her how you're feeling.
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