A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello all. I've been with this girl for 2 months now, she is stunning, but this is a bit of a problem because whenever we go out, there is always someone staring at her behind or her legs or something, and if they aren't just staring, they'll say something like "Oioi sexy", even when it's obvious that we're together, and I always want to say something back, which I do sometimes but I always end up walking away because I'm absolutely terrified of confrontation since I've been in too many arguments for comfort.I'm not sure what to do, I don't want my girlfriend to think she is with a pansy (well, she is really), I've started doing weights to get my confidence up a bit and not be so scared to walk out my front door and I'm thinking about taking up boxing with a friend, but not sure if this will help me over come my fear of people?I want to take my beautiful girlfriend out without the worry of her getting hurt, mugged, stabbed whatever.So basically, my question is this - how should I go about it, should we just stay in as much as possible and become two hermits, or should I toughen up and face my fear head on?
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (13 July 2010):
 You haven't told us an important detail - what's HER reaction when this sort of thing happens, and her reaction to whatever action you take.
I've been in her situation (calling myself 'stunning' might come across as presumptious, but I do all right by most reckonings) and what generally works best for me if I attract unwanted attention when alone or with a girl-firned, is to ignore it, or just shake my head and walk away (quickly, without appearing to run). If I am with a guy, we usually can pass it off as a joke with him saying "Tell me something i don't know!" accompanied by putting a protective arm around me. Never underestimate the value of the 'protective arm'. It does not have to be particularly brawny or strong, but the fact that the guy who is with the pretty girl is making his territory 'clear' is enough to deter most harmless banter.
Getting hurt, mugged and stabbed are serious issues though. Very different from just being teased/whistled at. Now I don't know how things are over in the UK, but generally there are 'safe' and 'unsafe' neighborhoods. Are you and your girl walking on foot through places where muggings/stabbings are common? Because if you are, you should not!
You should definitely go out with your girl, no doubt about that, but either use a car or stick to safe or crowded areas.
My over-riding advice to you is to be safe rather than sorry, though. If violent crime is a problem in your area, being a beautiful girl can be a curse and being with one only slightly less so.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010): Seriously just look at them and give them a smug smile. Like to say, F U I have her.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (13 July 2010):
 If you're afraid she'll get mugged, you're both much better off running away. It's not sexy, but then, neither is getting stabbed by a felon on parole.
If you're just getting catcalls, flash the guys your best sh*t-eating grin. They're complimenting both of you.
The only time you should get worried about this stuff is if she is responding in kind to some guy's attempt to hit on her. If so, reacting loudly and violently is a good way to scare her away from you for good. Make fun of the guy, no cheap shots, the same way you would tease a small child who was being bratty. Then, later, calmly inform your girlfriend that it's not acceptable for her to flirt back with guys in front of you.
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A
male
reader, branthony  +, writes (13 July 2010):
dude i had a girl like this, there is no need to change urself just because ur girl is hot, she likes u for the way u are, if people say anything like that, just "aint she, thats y i got here" they are only jealous, n if they are lookin at her, put hand on her bum, it will aggravate them, dont be frightened of what mite happen, no one ever comes between young love these days
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A
female
reader, dayd +, writes (13 July 2010):
Huh? You're confronting guys because they recognize how lucky you are? Is your girlfriend acting like she wants you to be a tough guy or is she with you because she actually likes you for the "pansy" you are? Frankly, the macho response has always been a turn-off for me. You should just put your arm around her sweetly and whisper in her ear, "but I already know you are the sexiest and I am the happiest man alive next to you." Keep the focus on HER and you, not you and some other guy!!
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A
female
reader, SeXylOvE12 +, writes (13 July 2010):
 I think that yes, you should try to build your confidence. It would be a good thing for you both. But, i wouldn't get too offended when the situation comes around. The guys are commenting on how hot YOUR girl-friend is. Next time a guys says "hey nice legs" you should turn around and say "thanks!" or "i know right?" and then kiss her in front of him. I would talk to her about it beforehand (let her know it bugs you), so she knows it's coming. Definitely don't stop going out in public!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010): dont do any of them! when guys wolf at ur girlfriend like the losers they are just grab her hand or put ur arm around her waist and continue to walk past them like you never heard, your not a pansy for not beaten up every guy who tries to holla at your girlfriend but you will be an idiot for trying to be one of them! IF for your own self esteem issues you feel that you would like take up a new hobby then i think boxing would help, its great taking your anger out on the punch bag lol :P .. but hey as long as you remember to tell your girl shes a stunner then dont worry about what others say all the best anyways xxxx
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