A
male
age
36-40,
*bdulMalik
writes:My girlfriend and i have been together for 14months and we are not married. she is pregnant with our first child and says she wants out of the relationship because i have been neglecting her, and she suspects i'm having an affair with one of my female friends. Things have not been going well between us because our stress levels are so high and I tried to explain to her how much she means to me, and that me and the girl she thinks i'm seeing are just friends and nothing more to it. I made my intentions about us very clear to her. I really need help because this will be our first child and i don't want to lose both my girlfriend and baby.
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (28 July 2009):
 I totally agree with both the other aunts who have replied before both have sound advice.
You can either cut ties with the friend or get her to face your gf face to face and admit the truth.
Your gf is feeling extremely vunerable right now with all her hormones raging in her body, she is possibly not feeling her best, she is possibly scared and frightened about the prospect of being on her own.
How much do you love your gf? Is it so much that you want to spend the rest of your lives together or love for now but not sure about the future?
If it is the first one then show your commitment by offering an engagement ring and if it is the second one why not suggest living together so that you can be a proper family and that you are taking fatherhood seriously and want to make things work between you.
I can't see that your gf relishes the idea of being a single mum and the reality of giving birth can sometimes by a scary prospect believe me.
It is a very trying time right now when there is a pregnancy but there is nothing like it when you hold your baby in your arms for the first time. It can be very daunting afterwards but if you work at a team and face any problems together you will get through it. Sleepless nights and nappy changing can be very very hard but also so rewarding. You are both still quite young so remember that millions and millions of us go through what you are going through right now.
She needs to know that you love her and the baby and that you will do whatever it takes to make her feel secure and safe once more. The ball really is in your court now. Don't leave it though as the longer it takes the more insecure she will feel. Also others could be whispering in her ear that she can manage on her own. Yes she can, but don't leave that as her only option. You need to think about what is most important to you.
BFN
Country Woman
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