A
male
age
41-50,
*hechefchad
writes:my girlfriend is hving my baby, she is 12wks along. We had numerous conversations about starting a family, getting married etc before we got pregnant. We went and looked at rings, tux's etc. We do not live together. Since becoming pregnant she has totally changed her tune. Now shes not sure if shes in love with me anymore. She is sure she wants to have the baby. She has told me to leave her alone, give her time and space. I am so confused I do not know what to do. I am really making an effort to give her what she has asked for but it is really diffucult. I do not want to walk away from her or my child. I have waited forever for this moment and she continues to let me down on a daily basis. I am scared of losing her and my child. She says she wants to try but needs time and wants to take baby steps and one day at a time.... I my question is how do I give her time and space but still be receptive to trying to make an effort in our relationship without her or me being totally pushed away????? Somebody please help me. My stress level is thru the roof and sometimes I scare myself! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, undertaker79 +, writes (25 June 2008):
My lifelong friend is in the SAME BOAT! Some guy Arkansas (believe it or not) supposed to be the "love guru". check him out
www.iwantmyloveback.com
A
male
reader, cake +, writes (25 June 2008):
Hey it sounds like "HORMONES". Every woman who gets pregnant is different and deals with her hormonal stage differnt. Some are very emotional and some are very happy. It is her condition right now. As a woman I can tell you that just do as she says and give her space. So call her on a daily basis just to ask her if she is ok and if she needs anything. Keep your conversations short and just give her space. Don't call 3, 4, 5 times a day just call once or twice, you pick your times. While you are out buy little things for the baby and show up at her doctors appointments even if you just meet her there put forth your effort. When she is ready she will come around. But never lose your interest do all you can but don't over crowd her. KEEP EVERYTHING SHORT. When she wants to talk she will, and if you catch her on a good day just speak with her about the two of you. If she seems to start getting flustered stop the conversation.
Her hormones are going crazy, being pregnant is a joyous yet miserable time and all you can give her is time.
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A
male
reader, Chumley2222 +, writes (25 June 2008):
 Aww..I feel for you, thechefchad. I can't be sure, but I don't think your problem is as serious as it may seem. She's pregnant, she's going through truly complex emotions that no mortal man can EVER experience or even fathom completely. Deep down in her heart, she knows you love her and care for her and that she's not being as responsive as she should be. She's asking for time because right now, her stress levels are higher then yours, trust me! SHE'S the one pregnant, SHE has to be the one who bears the brunt of any ridicule and whatnot, and right now she just may be partially putting some blame onto you for her current state.
This will pass in time. All you can really do is to continue to support her in any way you can, no matter how small because she will remember that once the baby is born. I've heard some crazy things in the E.R. as a baby was being born, and yet after it's over the woman has nothing but love and respect for the man who stood by her side when she needed him, even if she couldn't immediately give her appreciation. She appreciates everything you do, and will file everything away for when she has the time to appropriately respond in kind.
Please don't be one of the potential fathers that leaves because of stress. Stick by your woman and give her support, no matter how stressed out it makes you. Believe me when I say that it will all be worth it in the end.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): I don't have any advice, but please let me tell you that I will be praying for you, and that the Lords will is done.
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A
female
reader, interlud3 +, writes (25 June 2008):
Wow.
Okay - don't panic. This happens to everyone in their relationship especially when having a child. Having a child takes a lot of time and planning, so don't worry, your situation is normal. As a new mother, let her experience this wholely, it must be another milestone in her life. Does she typically ask for space from you? If that is typical then that means she has been brought up to handle situations just like that. If you are so worried about yours and her situation, why not ask her about it? That may need some explanation if it's making you worry. Also - there may be times when she'll need you as a crutch or support, so be there for her.
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