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anonymous
writes: I met this girl in a bar, we clicked straight away and spent a lot of time with each other that night, the next day she told me she was married and had two girls but her husband knew she was bisexual and didn't mind her going with women, so we started seeing each other.Everything was going great and I was under the impression she really liked me, but the husband started to get jealous and she ended the relationship but still wants the friendship, she says she loves me as a friend, that we have a connection, that she is closer to me than anyone else in her life and that we have so much in common.i think she still fancies me too. She just doesn't want a relationship with me! I do want to be a friend to her but I can't understand how she can go from being into me in that way and then not! i've asked her about it and she says that she has not lied to me and that she did feel that way, so how can that just change so quickly and why does she say all reasons why she wants us to stay friends, they to me are reasons to stay together? Since getting to know her i've learnt that her marrige in her words is over and they are only together for her girls! whenever she has a row with him she always turn to me! and she seems to be attracted to people who show her no interest, I was cool at first with knowing her situation but she made me feel that I could fall for her which is what has happened!She knows I love her and thinks that I don't love her because it has only been four months but am 27 and i've had relationships before and I know what am feeling, she thinks love is something that has to grow, i've tried to cause fights between us to push her away but she says she wants to be in my life forever and knows that am just trying to push her away! I am just really torn about what to do, she does make me happy and I do want to be a friend am just not sure! she has only in the past six months started seeing girls and says she wants to explore that and I can understand that, but if I stay friends with her am looking into it that something might happen because she still wants me around... I just don't know what to do... Please can you give me some advice thanks!
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reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (25 May 2007):
Hi! Love; It kind of looks as if you are on a oneway street of giving love, but not getting much love in return, as I see it. It's true that your lover has a commitment to her husband and family more so than to you. Guess, That she can't come right out and say so, Due to her not wanting to hurt your feelings As for her Husband, don"t think he is really fired-up in sharing his wifes body with anyone else, not an easy thing these open relationships. Where someone always gets hurt. What do I say about your dead-end relationship. I think that you are looking for love in all the wrong spaces. It time for you to be moving on, Sorry DEAR, but then we can't win them all.
A reader, gemma, writes (3 March 2005): hii think that if u stay friends with this girl u will always think that something is going to happen.im in the same situation only the other way round im not married but a lesbian i have a girlfriend and a mate who is in love with me.so i think the best thing to do is to cut ties and move on how ever much it hurts. ur worth more and can find someone single without bagage at the end of the day this woman is always going to have her husband good luck hope u find the right person.x
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