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anonymous
writes: I just recently turned 20. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years but best friends before that for 2 years. Our relationship like most relationships in the beginning had a lot of affection and sex, but slowly they started to demolish on my side. My boyfriend needs constant attention, and although I have no excuse, I just find myself not being able to continue being affectionate with him. I am only 20 and my sex drive is practically non-existant. We have tried dating other people for a while, but the same things happens, my sex drive and affection goes away. I just really love this man, and I want our relationship to work out, but the way I am going, I feel that he may not want to be with me because I can't give him what he needs, and it's not the sex. I know he needs sex too, but he can go months and not care, he just need affection more than anything. What can I do to help myself help us?
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female
reader, haley92  +, writes (16 August 2009):
i heard that diet has alot to do with yuor sex drive. if you are eating poorly , your sex drive will crash! so try eating healthy foods if you arent already, if you drink any alcohol then i would try cutting way back on that. and there are certain foods that rev up your sex drive. sour kraut is one that will help. most women dont like it but its just pickled cabbage! if you eat more of that it should help!
that and try watching pornos!XP
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male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (26 May 2007):
Gee!Dear Lost My Sex Drive. Being a man really doesn't give me that much insight into how a woman thinks or feels sexually. However I can put you in touch with some of the greatest Sexperts. "WOMEN" They are the only ones who can tell it as it really is. Welcome to my old book Friend, Shere Hite, And "THE HITE REPOTR". MACMILLAN PUBLISHING CO,INC/New York. 1976 ISBN 0-02-551851-8. Next to the Bible, Her book and ESO,(Extended Sexual Orgasm) By Alan P. Brauer M.D. Warner Books, 1983. ISBN.0-446-51270-2 are my sexual Bibles. So my Dear No Sex Drive, you are only two books away from self-understanding, And a more happy sex life, if that is what you really want. And may God Bless You.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2006): i would recommend going to visit your GP to make sure there are no physical reasons for your loss of sex drive.There may be phsychological or emotional reasons behind it too. Only you will know if there are circumstances in your life which could have preceded this. The tips on spicing up your sex life are great but if you have no desire in the first place I doubt that they will make alot of difference.
Lastly I wish you luck and strength in solving this problem. I know how distressing it can be for you to just not feel that way with your partner even though you love him greatly. Remember to involve him in how you are feeling.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2005): I know exactly where you are coming from. I myself went through that with my ex of 3 years. We had a healthy sex life and I loved him dearly, but over time, I lost my sex drive. I found out through experience later on in my life that it was probably because there wasnt enough variety going on. when i was with my ex, he was a virgin and i was a little more experienced, and i wanted to try new positions and new things, but he wanted to stay with the traditional man on top kind of thing, and i think thats why i lost my sex drive for him. so what you need to do it switch it up a little bit and try different positions, toys, watch adult films together, and experiment and have him tell you what he likes, and same goes for you. but with the things that you already do, give them a little extra twist, like add some different temperatures (ice water or hot water), different flavors (whipped cream, honey, chocolate sauce), get the picture. if you add a twist to something ordinary, a majority of the time it become extaordinarily fun.
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A reader, Tish, writes (3 January 2005): It's easy for a woman to loose her sex drive, I've been there. Try new things. You need some excitment. Try some oral sex, it's amazing. Find out what he likes, tell him what you like. Try taking your man to an adult sex store. Look around with him and pick up something "different" that turns both of you on. Movies(watching other people have sex is a turn on), sex toys, games, and of course pick up something only girls in magazines wear. Sex is extremely important in a relationship, and sometimes it needs to be "sex", not making love. Also, have sex in exciting places! On the kitchen table, in the back seat to your car parked on the side of the highway-while cars fly by, on a plane, or in your parents bathroom. Men like an woman that the can bring home to mom, but that also knows how to shake a headboard. You can be both. Make him feel like a man.
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