A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello guys, me and my girlfriend are very serious about each other and have even spoke about engagement. althought we have both agreed to do it next year when we are both graduated. i love her so much and we have even looked at booking a holiday for next year. she is not talkin to me right now as she said that she is hurt that i dont tell my friends anything about us. for example, i havent told anyone that we are going to book a holiday - but this is because it hasnt came up in conversation and also i havent told anyone how serious we are. she is hurt and says its like we are a secret. has she got a point? she says she is hurt cuz she always talks about me to her friends, co workers, family because i am part of her life. she has even told me she isnt comin to see my band play as she isnt going to be a "ticket sale" im hurt, help me?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 March 2012):
 Not telling people how serious you are or that you plan to book a holiday I don't see as being secretive up to a point. Some people just don't share everything with everyone.
If your family and friends know you two are serious, I think that is all that matters.
However, IF she feels like she needs to you VALIDATE the relationship you might want to explain to her why you haven't.
Talk to her. Try and see it from her side.
Personally, I don't share every little detail with others about me and my hubby. Some female friends I know do (they almost "over-share") some of my male friends don't share every detail either, so do. We are not all alike.
So, talk to her.
A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (6 March 2012):
 Of course she has a point I'm afraid to say. She wants to feel loved and like you are proud to be with her, how can she feel that way if you don't even tell people about her or the two of you? She will feel as if you are embarrassed or ashamed of her, which is just not fair. You need to reassure her this is not true and make more of an effort to tell people not just about her but the two of you as a couple, you dont have to wait for things to come up in conversation, she can just tell people things about you and your life ( including her) like every body else does.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2012): Yes she has a point, I have felt that way in the past with my boyfriend. He is a very private person, but he never talked about me with his friends and I felt lika "dirty little secret", she is your girlfriend so you should be making her feel special and loved. Any woman wants her man to show that she is an important part of his life, that she means something very special, and that we are important enough to him for him to talk about to his friends. It doesn't mean we want his friends knowing everything or anything personal, but letting people know that your planning a holiday together and that your serious about her is normal. As women we tend to think if a guy isn't doing that then we are secret and are being played by him. I hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Kate-Marie +, writes (5 March 2012):
 Ye she pretty much has got a point, you need to make her special by talking to your friends, family aand others about her make her feel loved not like a bird in a cage if you see what i mean ? at the end of the day dont go over board, but if it aint come up in a conversation, just mention it to them, for example... "guess what me and my girlfriends doing... we are going on a holiday!" and if you have facebook, set a status saying how much you love her, and say that you are going on a holiday and all these other things your planning... if i was in her shoes, id only feel the same as would other woman... we are sensitive after all lovely! hope this helps (:
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