A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend is really clingy, and lately it's been doing my head in more than usual. She wants to see me 4-5 times a week... I can't remember the last time I just got a night to myself guilt-free to chill, but she says she can't understand why I need that.Is 4-5 times a week too much time to spend with someone or am I the one being unreasonable? I wake up in the night worrying about this, and become very depressed on days when I have to see her. She's making me want to see her even less. I have come to dread her "so I'm not going to see you today?" on the phone -- which of course I have to call her on 2-3 times a day.I used to be able to get away with calling her once and texting her, but now she wants me to call her when I get in if I go out anywhere, even if it's with my parents.I would break up with her, but I already broke up with her last year because she was too clingy and then stupidly I got back with her for reasons I can't remember now -- I feel awful about dumping her TWICE for the same thing! But my sanity kinda demands that I either break up with her or get some time to myself before I explode. I don't even have time to watch something on TV or sit and read a book.I've started lying to her -- "no, I really do have to visit my mother today" -- just to get some time alone. Even then she texts me to say she's miserable without me, so I can't even enjoy what little solitude I have to scrape to get.I visit my elderly grandmother who can't walk every Sunday and take her with her wheelchair in the car to get groceries for the week and to church, and she's even asked me if I "have" to see my grandma every week.Before you say I'm just being a typical guy, please know that I'm a woman! Help... am I unreasonable, or is she?
View related questions:
broke up, depressed, grandmother, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): i am a male with the same problem...our stories are identical (even the earlier breakup),only we have been dating for 4 years. Im sorry i dont have any advice.. but if you get some i would like to know. i dont think i technically want to break up with her ( i think about it though)but its driving me insane. what i wouldnt give for a week to myself without having to phone a million times a day...... HELP!!!!!!!!!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (3 July 2007):
 I think your girlfriend is very insecure about something. Maybe it would help if you found out what it is.
...............................
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (2 July 2007):
 It sounds like she's extremely selfish. Every person needs their space! It varies from couple to couple. Some don't like to be separate at all, and some like lots of space. It sounds like she's jealous that you're giving attention to ANYONE, from the comment she made about your grandma...
You're the man in the relationship, and it seems like she's trying to strip you down of who you are. To make it short: Go to her and tell her that you need space and time for yourself. Tell her that if she can't accept the fact that there are other people in your life that you care about, and want to spend time with. Tell her that if she can't accept that, she's not accepting you, and that she needs to leave...
DV1
...............................
A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (2 July 2007):
 Oh god! I have to have me time! and so does my partner or we would drive each other insane. It's ok at the moment while we don't live together but we are moving in together soon..... anyway.....
If you feel 4-5 days a week is too much with one person than its not unreasonable. You need to sit down and chat with her and come up with a compromise that keeps you both happy or she is going to drive you away!
She's making the times you do see her less fun! That isn't right! You should be all excited about seeing her not feeling depressed about it.
Turn your phone off when she texts saying she's miserable.
My sister does my head in at the moment. She's 18 and has been with boyfriend 5 mins but moans when they dont see each other like every day. My guy and I right now live 80 miles apart and see each other a few days a week. It does my head in.
Yes you do HAVE to see your grandmother every week! That one day is probably the most important to your grandmother as she does her shopping and stuff and sees her grandaughter. Your girlfriend needs to know that she can't live in your pocket. She needs her own life aside from you!
Hope this helped!
xxxxxxx
...............................
|
