A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey folks, could you help me out?I think it's a common thing to sense that your girlfriend (or significant other) is attracted to someone other than yourself, that's just normal, but how do you deal with it when the guy she's attracted to is her friends boyfriend?Often as friends we'll hang out, and it's pretty apparent that my girlfriend is infatuated with him. Mind you, he is older than me, I understand where the attraction comes from, but, it really grinds my gears when they're (kind of) openly flirtatious. He gets pretty playful with my girlfriend even when I'm there, and this is in front of his own girlfriend too. He doesn't even do this with his own girlfriend; it didn't bug me too much at first, but, it's really clear to me that he's left an impression on her.I trust my girlfriend not to do anything, we've been dating for quite some time and I FEEL I know her well enough, but I've been wrong in past relationships, and I could be wrong here too; I think bad experiences have affected my objectivity and I don't know if I'm mature enough/secure enough to handle pangs of jealousy lol, but it does grate me to know she's more attracted to another man. How would you guys deals with it? Can someone give me some perspective that would help?Thanks :)
View related questions:
flirt, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice guys :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): I would simply ask her if she's aware of how it makes you feel, explain to her how you feel, and ask her to tone it down a bit because it's disrespectful to you and this other guy's girlfriend. If she'd continue to behave this way, i would start to reconsider her loyalty to you, and commitment to your relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (21 August 2009):
 i should imagine it wouldnt be a good feeling to know that your girlfriend is attracted to someone else which is so obvious to see. maybe you should ask her how she really feels about you and why she acts this way around this guy as it makes you and probably her friend feel very uncomfortable. if your girlfriend and this guy are flirting together id keep an eye out because it would be quite likely that one of them would make a move in the heat of the moment and maybe regret it afterwards but it could happen just explain your concerns to your girlfriend and see what she says
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): I think you have to pony up when they're being openly flirtatious and defend your interests. I would also confront her about it as she is the one leading him on.
Be professional, so practice first confronting both of them. That way you won't come across with a shrill voice, or overly loud or bent out of shape.
Think up some good retorts when she tells you it's nothing and that she's being friendly and playful. If she continues to be dismissive ask her why she doesn't flirt with you too?
Ask her what she finds attractive about him that, apparently, you lack?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): I can sympathize with you here, there's this girl my boyfriend used to be completely infatuated with before I met him but she is married now. But now that I have met her and spent time with her and my boyfriend I don't blame him for liking her...she is ALL over him even in front of her husband! I don't really get it because she had her chance with him before she was married and didn't want it so..it does piss me off but I just have to ignore it. Your girlfriend probably won't go after her friends boyfriend, we usually don't do that to each other. my adivce is just chill because if you act to over jealous it will only drive her away and if she was going to end up doing something your jealous or not jealous attitude probably wouldnt have much of an effect on the outcome
...............................
|
