A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a girlfriend who used to be a pothead and she kind of still it. I'm not against weed but when it comes to her I am for some reason. I think I just don't like the pothead mentality. The whole thing where they are in love with the plant and all of its accessories and can't get enough of it. My girlfriend also attracts potheads. All her friends are potheads and all the friends she makes are potheads. When we first started going out she told me to get mad whenever she smoked to help her quit. She only did it once or twice after that until about six months when she returned to her old habits of smoking almost every day. I told her about how it bothered me so much and she continued to do it. I tried so hard to get over it but it only made me feel like she didn't care about me. I know she cares about me though. I love her so much and want to spend the rest of my life with her. I'm not going to give up on our relationship because of this one problem. I just need advice about how to either get over the fact that she has that pothead mentality even though she doesn't smoke that much anymore or something. I've even considered trying to become a pothead so I could deal with it. Me and her see things very differently when it comes to this subject. Sometimes I even feel like a hypocrite because I will smoke sometimes but it bothers me when she smokes. Of course she used to smoke about every day...I just don't know what to do anymore. We had a big fight the other day because she smoked at a party i was at and she did it behind my back. Didn't even tell me. I had to find out from someone else and confront her. I just need to know how to get over it. I definately do not want to break up with her though.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): She's an addict... part of addiction is the seduction of the ritual of smoking. FACT. It sounds like she needs to become more responsible in your eyes.
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (7 December 2010):
 the problem is that when you first started going out she wanted you to help her quit. now you associate the happiness of a new relationship with keeping her away from cannabis.
no wonder it stresses you out when she smokes, but you have to think logically. its not the end of the world that she smokes pot but potheads can be very boring to be around when in groups. make friends of your own with interests that suit you and maybe you will be able to ignore this.
i'm an on and off pothead myself but i find that being obsessed with cannabis is boring. its just a drug i enjoy-and thats it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): you definitely want to be with her and not break up with her. While she is obsessed with Pot she is not in full control. So you cant even expect her to demonstrate her respect for you by her actions as often she is more in love with weed than respecting what matters to you. I cannot see how you can get her to change while she is unmotivated to meet
your expectations about her actions. And nothing will change as there are no adverse consequences for her, even when she does ignore your feelings and expectations.
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