A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay, my gf claims she was a virgin. We are both just turned 18. I have had doubts stemming from us sleeping together the second time we were in a house together after being official for a couple of weeks, her mentioning her ex having a panic attack when she thought she was pregnant as well as her mentioning that i was a grower. I have raised my doubts with her and she said she cant say anything to change my mind because she would just be repeating herself. Fair enough, i began to try and believe her. Yesterday we were speakkng via text and she mentions a convo she was having with her friend who is dating her ex. Basically, her ex is too large for regular condoms. My girlfriend is quite naive i suppose,i dont think she said this with the intent to hurt me. This has made me feel somewhat insecure however. Im not small (6.7x5) and my gf is small downstairs herself, but i cant shake the feeling that maybe she wasnt a virgin and maybe she misses his big dick. I am prone to paranoia and overthinking. Do i speak to her about this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2016): I say this often. You're young, so you have plenty of time to grow to know the meaning.
"Insecurity kills relationships." Love yourself and what you've got, or don't expect to be happy with anybody else.
There's enough people filling psychiatrist's couches. Mostly for ridiculous reasons.
Hold pride in your genes. They were a gift from your parents. Nature decided what fills the front of your jeans.
So don't be ungrateful. When you could have been missing some parts; or have parts that don't function! You can't please all girls, and all girls don't want the same thing.
I'm a gay man. I'm male, so I can make statements regarding the male member and know what I'm talking about. Having a big dick doesn't mean you know what to do with it. I'm longer than average, and my boyfriend is thicker. It doesn't mean you know how to satisfy anything but the fantasies of a size-queen. For some it's eye-candy. For some
it's a reason to run screaming! Confidence compensates. Trust me on this.
Some guys are terrific lovers, but jerks when it comes down to being a boyfriend. Some guys are terrific boyfriends, but aren't that great in the bedroom department. The size of their dicks doesn't always determine how happy their girlfriends are. Females and gay males will cheat on a guy with a big one just as quickly as a guy with a teenie wiener. It's how she feels cared for and the chemistry you have together as a couple that matters.
Let's get something regarding virginity out of the way. If your girlfriend didn't have a hymen when you first had sex, it's unlikely she was a virgin. If she had a pregnancy scare, she had to have had sex to get pregnant. Get things in the proper order of events. She's showering you with so much information she's got your poor head spinning.
You're actually still growing physically until you're 21 or 22. So you really won't know your final height and physical stature until you reach those numbers. You'll simply have to accept what nature has dealt you regardless.
A lot of guys with big penises don't get fully erect, or
can't fully penetrate a normal or average vagina. So they often don't get as many receivers as they may claim or want to lead many to believe. Sometimes they cause more pain than pleasure; and don't get it as often as they wish they could. Then there are girls and guys who can handle any size thrown at them. Then it's more about sex than emotion.
I think you want a girl who cares about you. If your little chatterbox has a little too many stories and commentary on penis size, you might want to consider a girlfriend who doesn't get to your last nerve. Virgins don't have a lot to say about size; because they don't have that much experience.
It takes skill, imagination, self-confidence, tenderness, and stamina to be a good lover. It doesn't matter what size you are. As a guy, it does matter how you are able to excite and satisfy your partner with what you're able to do with what you've got, and by using more than one body-part to bring pleasure to your partner. Male or female.
I suspect your gf is given to fibbing and exaggeration. So you really need to chill and take the stories she tells with a grain of salt. She only just turned 18, and she's making up a lot things. If you're a grower, that's a wonderful thing. It's a surprise package.
Put emphasis on tenderness, being mature, manly, and having good character. Be considerate of your lover, and use condoms to be sure you don't end-up a father before you're ready.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 February 2016):
 I agree with Aidan.
There is NOT such thing as a PENIS so big no condoms fit, OK? YOU (or a GROWN MAN) can fit his WHOLE foot in one - so if a guy "claims" to be so huge no condoms fit, he is full of crap and doesn't KNOW how to put on a condom.
And why was she worried about being pregnant when she claims to be a "virgin"? Why would her ex? Makes no sense.
However virgin or not, should be irrelevant. She obviously is very inexperienced. If she is lying about being a virgin that is on her. And for you to decide if you believe and trust her or not. If you do, let the past go, if you don't LET her go.
If she misses his big dick, don't you think she would be chasing HIM or be out looking for a guy hunt like an elephant?
And if you think a girl dates guys depending on his penis size.. you are quite mistaken. And so is your GF.
IT IS NOT the size that does the trick for women. A vagina is 3-4 1/2 inches deep. THAT is it. When aroused and ready for sex it IS more relaxed and thus can fit more in there - however.... there are VERY few nerve endings (which is what makes us able to feel sensations) inside the vagina. THEY are all in the clitoris.
PLEASE PLEASE use condoms, you both seem in need for some REAL sexual education.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2016): ... Based on what you've said it doesn't sound like she was a virgin. There could be a case that she didn't have sex with him because he was too big for condoms or he was worried about her being pregnant because semen got on someone's hands or near the area in some way.. Which might not necessarily mean sex.
However she isn't being very discreet about anything and I think it's a bit insensitive and unfair to talk about her previous boyfriend to you unless you specifically ask.
Don't worry about your size. If ur confident in it ur a gd size and it won't matter what she had before.
If I was you I'd be suspicious about the virginity, and I don't think previous partners matter as we all have a past but lying about it would tell me something about the person involved.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (5 February 2016):
Why would a virgin think she was pregnant? If she’s that ill-informed about how it all works, she shouldn’t be having sex with anyone. I can see why you have your doubts, but I have to ask why it matters anyway? The past is the past. You don’t suddenly become a different person when you’re no longer a virgin. As for the size of her ex’s penis, what are you going to say to her? It’s not all about size. If she wanted some-one with a bigger penis than you, she could go and find some-one with a bigger penis than you. How is it going to help if you keep going over the fact that his is (apparently) bigger? It comes down to this: she has chosen you. You’ve slept together far too soon, before you have built up trust together and that’s why you’re in this position. There is no bigger turn-off than insecurity and she is right to point out that only you can choose whether to believe and trust her or not. Okay, it may sound a little blunt to tell you to pull yourself together, get over it and focus on building a strong relationship (which is about so much more than just sex), but that’s what you have to do or you’ll end up breaking up over this. If you don’t think you can, just end it now.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (5 February 2016):
 Don't speak to her about it. DON'T!! It will only show your insecurities which won't do justice to your relationship. Trust me. Instead find a male buddy or more experienced guy to talk to,advise and teach you. Never whine or complain to your girlfriend, or any woman for that matter. It makes you look weak and few women will respect you.Just think about it. Goodluck!!
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