A
male
age
41-50,
*smaelL
writes:Hi, i have been with my girlfriend for about a year now. We had a long distance relationship and we finally met this past January. She lives in another country, and we have talk about a future together. I love her very much, but it bothers me to know, that she hasn't told her kids about me. I sometimes feel like I am a secret, or that she is afraid of how they will react. She divorce her husband about 2 years ago, and she tells me that she feels that is to soon to tell them about me. I have tried to be patient because i really love her, but i sometimes feel that she should tell them about me. What should i do? Should i wait and be patient? or should i tell her that i want them to know and get their opinion. By the way, she is 10 years older then me. Any suggestions, comments will help me a lot. Thanks
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female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (23 June 2009):
 i understand you're eager but her children i am guessing are pretty young so it'll be a bit of a shock to them i know you say 2 years but when your small it's not really that much time i mean they're dad isn't at home with them anymore it's going to be a big shock when they hear there mum is already with someone else it's a trauma for young children although there dad is still there he's not there if you get my meaning.
you just really have to be patient with her she's only trying to do what is best for her children it's nothing against you but when children's parents go through a divorce it can effect them in all sorts of ways and they may feel neglected by there mum if she turns around saying about you they may feel she's already moved on never loved our dad, and at the moment she has to be there for her kids and help them heal up from not having there dad in their house with them anymore it's a big shock to the system for them.
anyways i hope this helps hun. x x x
A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (23 June 2009):
 how old are her kids? if they are young (i know people around her age that have little ones about six years old) they might feel like your trying to take the place of their dad. she might not feel ready to her kods, even if they are grown up. its hard to break that kind of news, especially to kids no matter the age. just give her some time and shell come around. just tell her you feel concerned that you havent been mentioned to kids and you dont just want to get to know her but you also want to get to know her kids as well. she might be afraid that theyll feel rejected or that you arent ready or your afraid of being disliked by the kids just give her time to collect her thoughts and figure out why she hasnt told them.
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