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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi,This isn't something I'd normally do, but then I guess its not a usual situation for me to be in either. My girlfriend and I had been in a happy relationship for almost 3 years. We started seeing each other when we were both at school; I'm a year older, and when I went to university we stayed together, even though at first this seemed an impossibility. In fact, i think it made us stronger. Our determination to stay together and make time for each other ony brought us closer together, and until recently we'd been so solid, I could never envisage breaking up. Last year she had some disappoinment when starting at a different uni to me, and ended up leaving and working at home for the year. We still saw each other a lot, but I knew she wasn't happy being still stuck at home with her life on hold. Since September she's been at my uni, although she's in her first year and I'm in my lastI thought this was what we always wanted and could only make us stronger, but it's had the opposite effect. She's made so many new friends and really seems to have found herself, which I'm so happy about, but a lot of this change seems to be at the expense of our relationship, which understandably upset me. After discussing this on and off, we're now on a break. She says she still loves me but just needs time to figure out what she wants. I still love her more than anything and want us to still be together, but is this possible with her new outlook on life?
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reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (21 January 2006):
 I think it is possible. Obviously your g/f has had a quite a radical change of perspective and her head must be spinning with all the exciting things going on around her. One thing as big as that can often knock us out of kilter on everything and make us question who we are and what we want.
However once she has re-adjusted, from what you write here, there is no reason why she should not return to what you have. If you can do little things that let her know subtly how you feel, reminding of what you have together. I hope this works out for you both.
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