A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I love my GF so much,in my past i was with few girls...but i left them coz my parents refused them..and i was a flirt..but after when i got my gf i stopped everything,i told her about my past almost everything..and promised ill never be as like i was in the past..i never talk about my past nw..i have comlelty forgot it and i feel totally differnt and more concerned about my future.and im very strong in marrying her even if my paretns says no,but as far as i know im almost certain they wont refuse this girl...and i really want to live with her for rest of my life..but now my gf is having some problems..1) she is badly haunted about my past,she fears that i ll leave her,and she also tells if she leave me then i ll get a new girl..coz i WAS a flirt and had few gfs..and she hates me talking to any girls now..and actully she suspects that im flirting with them leaving her behind..(i know about me...and i know im true to my gf,i have even deleted almost all my frineds (female) frm my social networking sites)..she is worried about my past and the unknown future..but defntly not the present..and how im treating her.2) she thinks loving somebody is making a girl weaker,and telling about our love to anybody else makes her weak,and she feels ashamed that she is in love with me and scared that if someone knows she s loving a guy then they will not respect her or think she is not strong girl (somone who doesnt fall for a guy)..3) she thinks, loving somebody is betraying her parents.!.and she doesnt want to lie to her parents when she go out with me..so she is asking me not to meet her..she loves me madly at the same time she doesnt want to think me as her lover..(????)4) she badly loves me,as i do..she cant live without me.or i cant live without her..coz we have tried it..yes we too often broke up..but believe me we couldnt hold the distance more than one single day..its such painful.. but now my gf wants me to be her friend only..and she refuses my any rights i have on her as her "LOVER"!.(she hates me if i talk about sex or even a kiss,..we never had physical relationship)..but she tells me a weird thing..-- she wants me to think her as a lover in my mind ,but for outside she want me to act only as a friend with her,..i dont know how to do it..if i know it then im happy to do it as she wished.our days are filled with fights...i dont know how to make everything normal..please someone give me some solutions for this as well as to my gf....plss dont ask me to leave my gf..trust me ...i cant live without her...i dnt knw..but its so strange love..i can tolerate watever torture she gives me...but i want my girl back..i want her to be cheerful..i want her to be normal..im worried seeing her suffering...and she too dont want to loose me...:(..plsss reply somebody...tc
View related questions:
broke up, flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2010): You can help her by listening to her and how she feels. Like I said, it is something she has to deal with and you can start by bringing up the problems like you have mentioned to us to her but in a gentle way as possible. Express how you feel about the situation. At the same time space and trying to enjoy the relationship is important as well else both of you will be overwhelmed by everything.
You've made it clear to us how you feel, and what u need but you need to listen to her as well and what she desires. She has to stop causing herself pain and make up her own mind.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks Xearo...i didnt have many women..i just had 2 unstable childish relationships..in which i was not as serious as with this one...i just NEED THIS for my rest of the life..i dnt believe in breaking up if somethng happens bad..every bad things can be changed into good things coz every bad things are made by us....but im having problems in what way i can help her..
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2010): You gf needs to figure out what it is she wants in her life. You can choose to be up front about this then give her some space to think things over.
After being with many women you know exactly how YOU feel/want and as confident as you are, she is not. It just seems more and more like a problem she has to deal with. Or maybe there is some underlying issue she has that she has been unable to confess to you.
To be honest my ex "tortured" me for a long time before we broke up. I was too blind to see that she didn't love me anymore but she didn't want to lose me. I'm not saying that this is the case for you but there is something up and she is gonna need your support and space as well to help her make some decisions in her life.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 April 2010):
 She's worrying too much about what people think. Love makes you vulnerable. At the same time is empowering. When people shut down they loose the tools and the intuition to get the happiness they want. The truth is you are in love with her too. It will hurt you to act like her friend. Love is not supposed to hurt. This is her own issue, don't hurt yourself and give in to her selfish needs to appear strong. I don't know what you are fighting about. Just be yourself, she's not going to leave you. Worry less about your status and start doing fun things and enjoy the little things the the world has to offer. Anytime she starts the topic of friend, lover, other people, weak, strong, just tell her in a calm manner you don't feel like talking about it. You did not cause her suffering. She is doing it to herself.
...............................
|
