A
male
age
36-40,
*D1988
writes:I am 22 years old and been with the girl for almost 4 months. I love her and she loves me and wants to have my children and has talked about marriage before. Here's the tricky part. I have no history of my own. She was my first while she's been with 30+ guys. How should I feel about that? She's also been married before. (She's currently 19 years old). She also likes to drink alcohol until she can't stand and she likes to smoke marijuana. Should I be worried about her when I'm not around? Would marrying a girl with that much history be a smart move? And what does that tell you about her that she's been with that many guys? Insecure? Please repsond!
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male
reader, MD1988 +, writes (10 January 2011):
MD1988 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for the comments. i will take these into consideration.
A
male
reader, shawncaff +, writes (8 January 2011):
 She's had 30+ partners and she is 19?
Major red flags here. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but she is still in the midst of her bad habits.
I think you need to take a break from her. See if it bothers her in a few months or whether she goes to another guy.
I know it will be painful but better now than in a marriage.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): She is your first and you are her 30th. This is going to be a bad match 95% of the time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): My first inclination is to tell you that you are too young to commit to marriage.But even if you were 32 and not 22, I would tell you not to get married to this woman. It's obvious you don't entirely trust her because of her extensive sexual history, you aren't comfortable with her drug addictions, and you don't trust her when you're not around. It doesn't mean she can't change one day, but I would say trust and personal stablity are prerequisites for marriage. You will meet other women. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, frndinneed  +, writes (1 January 2011):
you cant understand someone in just 4 months.i suggest u give ur relationship some more time before thinking about marriage.
btw how many partners she had before u does nt matter as long as she is fully committed to u.in my opinion she is not "insecure" she was just lonely.
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A
female
reader, Secretlife  +, writes (1 January 2011):
She's obviously still in her wild teenage ways. If she's doing all of that then she's really not the one for you. Another thing is she drinks alcohol until she can't stand thats not good. You need to find someone more responsible. If she wants to have your kids then she needs to slow down.
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