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male
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anonymous
writes: Let me get straight to the point. I have a girl friend whose history is really bad. I will let you be the judge. She is 17 and has been with 23 guys. She started having sex when she was 15. She graduated from high school early, so over the course of three years in high school she has been with 23 people. She was never really faithful to anyone, she has never really had a real relationship although she tried to tell me she was so in love with this one guy but she still was sleeping around. She said they had an open relationship. What the hell is that!!!! One year in high school she had sex almost every day of the school year and had sex with two different guys in the same day on a regular basis. She also cheated on one of her so called boyfriends with his 30 year old cousin and she was only 16. On top of all that she gave me genital warts and herpes. So I am going to suffer for the rest of my life. Now let me say that I am not perfect I have had 10 partners but I have been active sense I was 12. And I may not have always thought the same but I strongly believe in monogamy. The only reason why I settled for her is because I was lonely and desperate and I don’t get girls very often, so when one showed so much interest in me I took her. We became very close although her past hurts me a lot and I am almost to point to where I cant take it anymore. I have got my confidence now and I know I can get girls but Part of me just cant seem to let her go. I have been with her for a year. When I met her she was a hoe. She gave to me in like 3 days. But I guess I was trying to be captain save a hoe. I did make her a much better person and I am proud of her for that but I don’t know if I should stay with her. Besides if I try and get another girl they will never want me because of the diseases I have now. I just needed to get that all of my chest. Somebody help me please, what should I do.
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confidence, cousin, genital warts, her past, herpes Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): stay with her i mean sounds like u knew wat u where gettin into from the jump besides she burned you so u have to stay now
A
female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (21 June 2006):
 Ditto the above answers - in particular Dr. Pete and Dr. Psych - some girls are only too willing to give it up the first time they meet a guy - have you ever heard of 'one night stands'?? Never has been my thing personally, but people are all different, and so are their needs...you should know that, having been lonely and desperate yourself!
It's time you showed her and yourself a little respect, let her go, and USE CONDOMS in future!!!
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A
female
reader, carebear  +, writes (21 June 2006):
 oh poor you you slept with her within 3 days and she's given you a disease she was a hoe but you were a good person being sex active since 12 my dear i think you two deserve each other hopefully to make both of you better people and understand the importance of sex and respect so she has a past so do you live with it or leave but you will have to be honest with your next partner or this will never change sorry to blunt but that's how i see this intersting replys form other aunts as we all seem to agree lol
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A
female
reader, Chelesea16 +, writes (21 June 2006):
Yes, everyone has a past, not quite that bad..but everyone does..its simple enough..if you arent happy with this girl, and can't forget and forgive her for her past..then it wont work out..you will prolly get unhappy and argue all the time..if you think its worth staying with her you should..its great that you changed her, and i think it might be a bit unsensitive of you to just leave after all that. I think that if she were cheating on you, yes, you should leave her, but if she truly isnt then there might be a relationship. Yes it sucks about the diseases, and everyone makes mistakes...but i'm sure some other women could get over that fact if you seriously wanted to leave your girlfriend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2006): You should think how you would feel if a girl who was with you regarded you as a "hoe" and was disgusted by your past seeing as you, yourself, were sexually active at age 12 and have slept with 10 people. Plenty of girls would find that quite excessive. So perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to judge your girlfriend, as it seems to me, you and her arn't do dissimilar.
It sounds like you have a lot of negative feelings toward this girl, you say you can't seem to let her go. I would suggest this is because in actuality, you arn't confident like you believe, but instead you gain confidence from believing you are "bettering" this girl. It is her that makes you confident.
If you don't finish with her, I would put money on her finishing it with you first. The reason - because she is still very young, but within the next few years she will grow up and mature far beyond your level and she will decide she wants to be with someone who loves her for who she is, not despise her for who she was.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2006): "I made her a better person" ?? WTF dude? Well, you sure think alot of yourself dont you. All I can say is that if you were stupid enough to not use protection during sex then it is as much your fault as hers. You seem to think you can do a whole lot better than her as you 'just settled for her', so go do it while your ego is so inflated.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (20 June 2006):
 Dr Psych has hit it on the head. You sad SOB, get a grip of yourself....*I made her a better person* wowee, I am SO unimpressed!!
Hey you had sex with her after three days....are you a *hoe* to?
Oh, and you are riddled with disease as well....goodie, what a catch you are.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2006): Lesson No 1 What goes around comes around!!
Even with the notorious record she has ur willing to have her for more then a fling? In my view as a man ull always be insecure with her even if she sorts out, its the sort of vibe to expect with such women...now since u know this girl has been with 23 men i dont see reason why she has to be monogamous around u. Maybe ur with her because of ur disease and u know no one else will bear u but her, how much of a hoe she is she is a angel for u!! There are 2 things u can do wait for her to slip and then find a reason to breakup cuz thats evident its gonna happen one day anyways, or leave her now cuz i can see how much of a pain it is to bear shez been wid so many men, trust me it would be a better decission then to wait around for her to cheat and u to be the misereable guy who got infected, cheated, and had his heartbroken!!
Monogamy is the way to go...ur a lil l8 2 realize that but it sure does save u from a lot of wild thoughts.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (20 June 2006):
 "When I met her she was a hoe. She gave to me in like 3 days. But I guess I was trying to be captain save a hoe. I did make her a much better person and I am proud of her for that but I don’t know if I should stay with her"...your girlfriend isn't a 'hoe', she is a human being with feelings and you should leave her because it seems like you think you are better than her just because of her sexual past, and the fact she is a woman with a sexual past. As for the diseases she gave you...well you knew she wasn't a virgin when you met her so why didn't you use appropriate protection (female condoms stop genital warts!). All I am reading is 'I made her a better person'...it sounds like an ego trip of how you rescued her from her wicked ways, perhaps she doesn't see it that way. Perhaps she gave you confidence to date women as you did say you were lonely and desperate. For a girl of her age to be sleeping with so many men isn't a sign of being a 'hoe', it is a sign of a young lady who has come to realise that sex=attention from men, and feels so little about her personal self worth that she is just unable to relate to a man on any other level. That is why you are no good for her really - you haven't identified the root cause of her sexual behaviour.
As for her giving you sex after 3 days...well I think that says more about your attitude towards women more generally, than her behaviour. It should be individual choice to have sex, or not have sex, at any stage of a relationship based on mutual consent - basically she offered you sex like the other boys as a way to get your attention as she doesn't think she has anything else to offer, and you gladly accepted...warts and all. I suggest you either sort out your attitude towards this girl which is a mixture of misunderstanding and caveman thinking, or let her go so she can find someone who really sees her as 'his equal' and not the booby prize picked up at the fun fayre.
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