A
male
age
36-40,
*as8
writes:Ive been dating the women of my dreams, for almost 2 years now. We want to get married. only problem i fear is that she has a low sex drive. Now to be honest im a nymph :) how do i get her to be free and open with me, i am the one constantly initiating the sex. I have all the ideas etc. let me not leave out that she was a virgin, and i have had countless partners, i know this can be hard for her, but i am trying so hard for her to understand, that she is the only one i want to be with. Now im afraid if we got married, would it just get worse, please any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
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male
reader, jas8 +, writes (3 January 2010):
jas8 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to all so much for the rapid response i really appreciate it... I guess i have to talk to her and yes i have to break that barrier as well, guess only time will tell. Will let you know of updates.
A
female
reader, lolli-pop  +, writes (3 January 2010):
make her feel comfortable with you and what u do together. talk to her about why she isn't open with ure sex life. find out what really gets her going and make her feel like the only woman in the world when your making love. i used to be like her until one night my man really rocked my world giving me the time of my life now i have no worries its almost as if a barrier was broken. break down that barrier and see how she responds
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (2 January 2010):
 The most important sex organ is the brain, so communication is going to be key here. You need to find out whether she is simply shy, if she's suffering from body image issues, or if there's something more sinister in her background like abuse. If it's within her control and she understands how important it is to you, she will likely work toward being more open. Talk, talk, talk and find out what's going on in her head.
You are absolutely right to be concerned, by the way. A friend of mind overlooked a similar fear -- his girlfriend had been sexually abused when younger, so she was textbook frigid. They married anyway, and were divorced within ten years, in part because he could count on one hand the number of times they had sex during their marriage. Hopefully your situation is quite different.
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