A
male
age
,
*1432mark
writes:Ya, my girlfriend got mad at me and had sex with somebody she has known a long time and considers her brother. Even before that i was jealous of her closeness with him. She adores him but i don't think he wants an intimate relationship with her. The problem is, they are still in contact. I insisted, even threatened, to try to make her "banish him from the kingdom" but she won't. She won't even get rid of pictures taken of them hugging two days after sex. I just can't make her understand how much this eats at me inside. She blows it off because from her perspective, it is no big deal, it won't happen again. I love her so much and never want to lose her but she doesn't respect my hurt enough to give him up. I will never, never, never, stop hurting from this and this might end up ending our relationship.
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male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (25 August 2007):
 She stepped over the line and she f--k-d it up. She is showing you that she is in control of her and you. "BE A MAN" get your respect back, get over her, and get your heart ready to leave her. There's too many women out there looking for a "good man". Go to the crying tree, have a good cry with no-one else around to see, because you're human, then come back and have sex with 3 other women. I guarantee you, you will start to get over her real fast. You are in the best position, do you know how many women there are your age looking for men. The ratio of unattached men to unattached women in their 50's is astronomically in your favor. Get in shape, go out, and have the time of your life. Live and love life, it's too short not too. Stay hard!
A
female
reader, x...L...x  +, writes (19 August 2007):
 Basically.. it may not be completely her fault as you havent mentioned why she got mad at you in the first place.. maybe you did something to hurt her and that was her way of getting back at you.. and as she didnt sleep with a stranger then it shows that she only wanted some comfort from a close friend.. still wrong but i think you two should sit down and discuss ground rules etc you cannot expect her to let go of a friend that close to her and never make her choose between you and this "brother" hope things sort out for the best x
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A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (19 August 2007):
 I do not think she is behaving in a considerate way, you need time withour this guy around, she shoud feel the like you do in the same situation so that she could understand, maybe u should consider meeting other people or havig a serious conversation even to go for counselling together but I think she's behaving in a very selfish way.
love
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007): Hi Hun,
I can see your pain, And I no you said you dont want to loose your girlfriend but what she has to do to show her love to you right now is sit down and talk with you or it will be over...
Friend or not she still went over the line, We all have rows in life love but we dont all go of and sleep with the first available person, Then flaunt it in our partners face....Without a care in the world...
This friend obviously finds her attractive or it wouldnt have happened, he could have been her shoulder to cry on but that should be it if they are close friends or as you say like a brother.
She probably sees it as no big deal because they are so close and they probably thought after it was a mistake and nothing would come of it so not to worry...
But its left you feeling incredible pain hunny you have to sit her down and explain this to her, I mean most of us would be out of there, The trust has been shattered for you... You cant be with someone who is obviously going to be seeing this friend again as you said it will eat you up, And tempers are going to get very heated, You have to make the decition is this worth your worry pain and fear everytime she goes to see her friend, or can you move on and start again... PLEASE TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (19 August 2007):
You cannot really make her banish a close friend. If you were jealous of him in the beginning and were strict with her contact with him, it may have actually had the opposite effect. However she's the one that had sex with him and that was going way too far. Being a "one time thing" is an idiotic response because if it happens again it will be a "one time thing" that time too.
You have to sit her down and talk to her about this and make her understand that it is in fact a BIG deal. If she can't see that, yes, you may have to end it because what is stopping her from doing it again if this is no big deal to her? I personally would have said it's over right away.
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