A
male
age
30-35,
*hrisss89
writes:Hi.. My name is Chris and i am 23 years old.. i have a girlfriend for 1 year and 3 months.. we are happy and in love.. sometimes i feel like i cannot do anything else than seeing her..i feel like i cannot watch soccer or generally do anything else..i told her that i feel like this and she said i have no reason to do that.. anyway she lives with her sister in my city(she comes from a different city and she is here to study).. i live with my parents.. i told her today that my dream from when i was younger was to travel alone and she got angry etc etc :( i feel very bad..i love her and i dont want to break up.. she gets very easy angry if i am somewhere and i do not message her for 30 minutes etc.. she lives far from her parents...she does something alone..i mean she knows how is to be alone..but i never felt that and i want to do that for a trip or something..i dont want to cheat!! ok so dont tell me to break up thats not a serious answer. thank you!
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male
reader, chrisss89 +, writes (6 November 2011):
chrisss89 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi! thanks for your answers.. about her past..i know she had an ex who went with his friends to Mykonos(its an island here like ibiza) and i think he dumped her and they broke up. after pushing her a lot she said ok do it if you want..go a trip but dont talk about it because i get upset..and i said yes thats what i wanted to hear and i will probably not go alone but i told her that i feel like i cannot do anything else alone or with my friends and she said that she is not upset if i do something with my friends but she cannot understand why to do alone..she says if i want to do it alone why not with her?she means she understands that i need to do things with my friends but when im not with my friends i HAVE to do it with her.. she might be right about this but i always used to like doing things alone.. i like to drink wine alone and listen to music.. im a really happy and smilly person..my friends at uni think that i am the happiest person in the world..they ask me if i take drugs haha but the truth is that behind that i like to be alone and listen to slow(or sad) music and drink my wine alone(not get drunk..). i had dreams in the past..i have some dreams now but i feel like i cannot do them because i have her..i feel like someone is holding me down. i dont know why..she usually support me..for example i want to be a pilot and she supports me even if its difficult etc.. but for some reason i dont know why but i feel like i want to fly(im not talking about pilot)..i want to make my dreams come true.but i feel like i cannot do it now.. thank you for your answers :)
A
female
reader, kendra30752richardz  +, writes (6 November 2011):
 She may be insecure, but think about it. People with insecurities that large turn into more than just a small flaw. It turns into fear and can be really devastating. Honestly, it sounds like she simply has a hard time trusting. Maybe she doesn't know how in love you are with her. A lot of times simply talking about how she has nothing to worry about and telling her you only have eyes for her and love her is all it takes. She may just need a little extra reassurance sometimes. What about her past? Has she had a bad experience that's caused her to have such fears. These things are hard to understand, but digging deeper and showing more care can make all the difference in the world!Telling her you want to listen and know her feelings and help if you can, can also make a world of difference. Have you tried these things? It sounds like she's just terrified of losing you/missing you or you never coming back. That's totally understandable. Females get irrational (not that she's being irrational) but we get a little fiery sometimes so try to bear with her.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 November 2011):
 Seems like you have to walk on egg-shells around her. Maybe it is HOW you say it, not what you say that she reacts so strongly too.
And of course she gets upset when you say you want to travel by yourself. I mean most people are in a relationship so they have someone to SHARE experiences with.
If you want to bring it up again, I suggest you do it face to face not over text or phone.
As for the texting.. meeh some people can't "live" 5 minutes without having to text.. I don't get it. But even THAT is something you two can talk about and come to an agreement on. You just have to explain how you see it.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 November 2011):
 Ok it is clear that you do not want to break up with her, but you need to make yourself happy in life. It sounds like she is insecure and has anger problems and you are quite clingy because you hate doing anything without her. This is unhealthy. Off course in a relationship it is good to spend time together but it is also healthy to have breaks and go out with friends without having to text each other constantly. This is something that you have always wanted to do and you may live to regret it if you don't do it. Explain to her that you love her and that she needs to trust you. Tell her you will miss her a lot but it is something that you need to do. Just be honest with her. If she has a problem well then am sorry but this relationship is unhealthy for both of you.
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