A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend gave her ex blow jobs, why am I finding it hard to deal with this? Sometimes when i kiss her i think yuck, Thats only happened twice in the 2years we've been together. Just knowing that she gave an ex partner a blow job is disgusting. At first i couldn't let her give me a blow job for two reasons one... STI's and the second i couldn't shift the thought of her and the other guy. Untill recently i was shaking the thought of her and her ex but, I recently met her ex boyfriend in the bank where he works and i now know what he looks like and have become very insecure because he was an attractive guy and we'll im not :P. Does anyone else have a problem like this?
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blow-job, her ex, insecure Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeamnicegirl  +, writes (11 June 2019):
 You have serious issues. You are over 30. The women you are dating are at least 20. 80% of girls have done the blowjob thing by high school graduation. The other 20% get there not long thereafter. Anyone you are going to get a date with has messed around already, and most likely has gone all the way. Stop over-reacting, it's just part of normal life for stuff to happen. Either give up on dating, or accept the fact that your date has been kissed before.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010): I have to be honest with you man. I think that you're a really insecure person.The problem is within you, you feel inadequate as a man.That was her boyfriend!Why would'nt she give him blow jobs?I bet you expect blow jobs from her seeing as that she's your girlfriend. So what happens if you guys break up?Is the next guy she dates suppose to freak out because she gave you blow jobs?It's not like she's running around blowing everybody...it was her boyfriend and they probably did all kinds of shit way beyond blow jobs....Why would'nt they?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): Sorry guy, you should have done a background check on her first before dating her. As for A female reader's response. Yeah you have her, and his crap all over your mouth. That shit stays in the human system for at the least 5 years and more. If I were you, I would wash my mouth after kissing her.
Sorry, that's disgusting. I would break up with her the minute I found that out, go to a doctor and have my mouth flushed, digestive system flushed, go on antibiotics. Wash my mouth at least 15 times just to kill any cells, her germs, and his germs out of my mouth, so my cells can reproduce new tissue.
I feel the same way, that's why I also did a background check with my wife before dating her. I had to make sure she had a clean bill of health. I am not risking my health and my life because of some stupid mistake that the girl did in the past, then I am the one that has to pay for it..oh hell no!
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (6 July 2010):
 Just Get Over It; My love used to suck on all her dates to ensure another date...no big deal!
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A
male
reader, therapy14 +, writes (15 May 2010):
hey dude-
my girlfriend did the same thing
she gave her ex 2 blow jobs and i feel the same way you do but i know her ex and hes a fag and hes jealous of our relationship so i ude that to my advantage
just think the way i do
i think, well shes with me now and not him
just dnt break up with her thats stupid and if you have a really big problem about it ask her if she will stop talking about it
it should work if she loves you
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): same here. i broke up with her. except the guy wasn't attractive. i broke up with her cuz thats total betrayal. She did this more than once, then u shuld consider it too
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A
male
reader, slipknotfan84  +, writes (19 August 2009):
girls whats ur problems if this was a chick u girls would be like awww i know dear i agree.yes the guy seems to have low self esteem but still oral the same as sex if u know the person that u partner has been with then its not fun in ur own mind.ull constantly compare urself to them and think bout wat they did with ur partner.but honestly dude y ask questions that u dont wanna know,like come on do u really care y her ex dont wanna hang with u guys.just be happy ur with her.and if she brushes her teeth daily i dont think ull taste him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2007): dude i have the same problem and its totally disgusting, at first i totally couldnt get it out of my head that when I was kissing her i was tasting another guy, i still havent totally come to terms with it but the way i think of it is that if she really loves you, other guys shes given them to dont matter because she only wants to be with you. i hope i helped
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): I had a girfriend who was force by guy to do oral sex once because she didn`t want to have sex with him.tHAT is before we were intimate. Although she was force. I still find it hard to accept it and I try very hard to get it out of the mind, but it can`t disappear. I think those guys are freak
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2007): Hi, im having the same sort of problem as you.. just to think of it is discusting i hate it my heads spinning with this madness! but ill tell you what happened in mine first! i have been with my gurl for about 5-6mnths now and she is my world everything i could ever ask for in a gurl she is awesum and thinks of me the same. But a good friend of mine is going out with her ex boyfriend and said he found it arquard to come and hang with us.. not knowing why? i asked his gf to ask him and he said it was because they used to go out and she gave him a bj's im so hurt i dont know wat to do or wat to think it suxxx should i say nething to her or not?! my friend seen my face once i was told and was like ohh you shouldnt say anything your only going to course troubles. god it hurts me tho and i hate him with all i got! i dont know wat to do .. it sux kissing her now :( its yuck wat do i do?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): Ok so I was the 'female anon' who wrote before. It is easier to understand your situation now - not to justify it but to understand it. So you're saying your girlfriend shared all this with you? Clearly this is upsetting you so you may want to talk to her about it and ask her not to do so in the future. You knowing the intimate details of her previous relationship is inappropriate, not the fact that she did this stuff in her relationship. However, I can see how it would be hard to forget about it now she has told you but that is what you need to do. Otherwise your relationship is going nowhere and you are going to let something that really should not affect your relationship ruin it. If you can't then you should end it for her sake aswell as you are leading her on pretending you are happy being with her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): original poster - It is "disgusting"... Why would i find it to not be "disgusting"?. Yes when she does it to me that fine because its me, Like my girlfriend said to me... Its hard to think of "me with someone else" why would i get pleasure in thinking about her and someone else? The thought of the act is "disgusting" it was probally very good or special and enjoyable but thinking about it is "disgusting".
Also yes i haven't had a previous sexual relationship but, I don't think i would say im missing out or wanting to have had one.
lastly if you where told about something like this and you knew too much information such as what the guy looks like, his name, where he works, how long they went out etc... with other information such as things they did together and places they've done it... all this information is hard to process/deal with. Im not saying its wrong to have a past or anything like that, its dealing with what you know... because in the back of my mind there is always going to be the memorys that she has shared with me.
how would you deal with it?
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A
female
reader, gf123 +, writes (31 May 2007):
 Hi,
When you are insecure in yourself, as you obviously are, it can be hard to accept that someone you find attractive could think the same about you. The thing is though, your girlfriend has chosen to be with you now and you need to learn to trust her if your relationship is going to progress.
I can understand that you might have a problem with thinking about the intimate things your girlfriend and her ex-partner did but I'm not sure that it's fair to call it "disgusting". It's great that you're sensible and concerned about STIs but I assume that you don't find it disgusting when she does the same with you?
I think this comes down to your lack of self-esteem. You could try talking to your girlfriend about how you feel and I'm sure that she'll be more than willing to reassure you that you're the one that she wants :)
Best of luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007): I'm sorry but why do you find this so disgusting? And how did you find out? It seems to me that it is not just the fact she gave him blow jobs that is bothering you, it is that you are not the first man in her life.
Is she the first person you have been with sexually? And therefore are you worried that she has gone further than you? If you do indeed have experience then you are being fairly hypocritical.
You need to get over this. It is in the past and she is with you now. It does not sound from what you said that she has any feelings for him whatsoever.
If you can't then I suggest you find yourself somebody more like what you want. Or would the fact your girl had kissed another guy be too much?
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (31 May 2007):
 hia chick dont worry, my boyfriend was exactly like you, the past is the past, yea she has given someone oral before but she obviously didnt like them or she would still be with them.. as to you saying he was good looking.. same.. she would still be with him if she didnt like you MORE!! it will be very hard to get over it, but all you gotta do is put it to the back of your mind.. think haha ive got her now.. they arnt getting the pleasure of kissing her and .. the rest.. well babe i hope i helped, sorry if i didnt =/ mail me if u wana talk x x x
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