A
male
age
36-40,
*attyan
writes:i don't know what to do at this moment. i am very confused as to what i should do in my relationship. i have been with my girlfriend for just a little under two years and we really make each other happy. we do have our fights here and there but we only fight about once a month. we live about 500 miles away from each other so we only see each other when we are in college.we have endured a summer vacation before. it was hard, but we got through it. this summer though she went to france to study abroad. she was gone for 7 weeks and we would talk to each other by video chatting or e-mails. as time came for her to leave france, i noticed that i was talking to her less and less. she was suddenly so busy with school and her new friends.she recently came back and when we talked to each other over video chat, she was a little different. i noticed this and asked her what was wrong. she said going to france was the first time she was able to make good friends on her own. she felt that even though i was able to make her happy, she has been too dependent on me and she does not like that.now she is considering a breakup because she feels that it would benefit the both of us. i still love her dearly and would like to make this work, but i don't know what to say or do. i tried convincing her that she is capable of making new friends while being in this relationship, but she worries that the time lost will be too much for me and i will be upset. she wants to spend time with her new friends but i feel left behind. she is very confused and doesn't know if i am still worth it.sorry for the long post. i would appreciate it if you guys had any insight on what i should do. i am very sad and your replies would make me very happy. thank you for your time.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (25 August 2008):
long distance relationships are hard. It's so easy to stay in and stay on the phone or on MSN rather than going out and that can stop you from making friends.
It can be done though. You just have to arrange with her that you will not call every night, and will only call her on Sunday afternoon and only talk to her on MSN on a Tuesday, or something like that.
Then she has to just go out and have fun rather than sitting in thinking about you.
Good Luck!! xx
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