A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:we had the most amazing time with my boyfriend of 3yrs as it was my firsr time to have a sleepover in his place, my problem is that when it comes to sex i've never riched my orgasm is it normal for a woman to be like that cause for him he's always riches them and at the end his always happy so i just want to know if there is anything wrong and how can i reach them cause i would love to hear how does it feel like cause he is my first guy. please i need some advice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008): i am going through the same thing don't sweat it
A
male
reader, daletom  +, writes (26 August 2008):
Your situation is not unusual. You can probably learn to orgasm, either on your own or with your boyfriend's loving help and cooperation. Find the post I placed in the thread "I am not sure I ever had an orgasm though we have a very active sex life..." at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-am-not-sure-i-ever-had-an.html ].
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2008): There could be many reasons you're not having an orgasm. Different women have different sexual responses, so it may just be harder for you to come then for other women. Maybe you're stressed out, on on a medication that makes orgasm more difficult. Some anti-depressants are known for having sexual side effects. If you are taking a medication with negative sexual side effects, talk to your doctor about switching drugs.
If you don't have a physical reason for not reaching orgasm,which In your case I think is themost relevant; then the thing for you to focus on is not, "Why can't I come," but "How can I have an orgasm?"
Here are a few ideas for you to try:
Make sure you're good and turned on before you even think about having an orgasm. Try thinking of a fantasy, read some erotica or watch an erotic video to get you in the mood.
Experiment with different positions and techniques.
Oral sex may work great for one woman, but others find penetration a sure way to orgasm.
Masturbate. Can you bring yourself to orgasm? If so, teach those techniques to your partner.( Or better yet, masturbate with your partner as a witness).
Try a vibrator. Many women find that the best way for them to consistently reach orgasm is through the intense stimulation of a vibrator. (Don't be afraid to bring toys into the bedroom if they increase your sexual pleasure).
MOst important relax; the more you stress and concentrate on it the more dificult it will be.
Enjoy and have fun.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2008): Dear Poster
Herewith a link that is giving lots of information.
http://www.whitelotuseast.com/FemaleOrgasm.htm
Hope this is of benefit to you;
Best wishes and lots of SMILES
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2008): i didnt have my fist orgasm until i was 30 i think i never really relaxed until then with my body and my own inner feelings, i discovered an author called Betty Dodson she wrote a book called sex for one which was based on exploring female masterbation i can honestly sat this book changed my life and my views on sex, she then wrote a follow up book called orgasms for 2 which again only added to my sexual awareness, for some an orgasm may be the most bnatural thing in the world for others we need to be taught, for anyone struggling with sexual guilt buy these books and share them with friends every woman i have now passed them onto has changed the way they feel and have sex so much so i had to order new copies lol, there is a bettydodson.com website where they can be ordered go ahead even if your not a great reader you need to read these books goodluck
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