A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My current partner and i are just in the process of seperating, he is looking to transfer his job and in the meantime we continue to share the house, he is busy texting another girl and has arranged to spend 2 weeks with her very soon. my problem however is far more worrying than the situation with him even tho that hurts a little, i am finding myself drawn to a close friend of my son ordinarily i would never be attracted to a younger man the fact he doesnt look his age and is very mature is no excuse i am aware this is a mutual attraction altho nothing has been said I will NEVER act upon these feelings as it would ruin too many lives around me and i try to avoid all situations where i now know this young man will be, occasionally my son will innocently bring him home or call for a lift and have this particular friend with him and then the feelings start again, im certainly no pervert or cradle snatcher so this comes as much of a shock to me and i dont know how to stop nature in its tracks, they say we cant help who we are attracted to but i need advice on exactly that how do i fight this silly crush???
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008): I'm in a similar situation myself. But I am completely available and although I would never let anything happen, I don't mind the attention either. I am sure he knows friendship is as far as it goes, so flirting isn't out of line. Attractions can come and go, especially if you don't act on them.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): As long as he is not underage then you can act the way you want around him. Just think about what you son will think. Be careul with whatever option you chose.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): I once dated a woman nine years older than me. Just because it is your son's friend is no reason not to act on your feelings toward him. As long as you are both adults, you can do what you want with each other. I say live a little. Most women would LOVE to have sex with a younger man because of the performance benefits, so I say go for it.You talked about your feelings for this younger man. Do these feelings include fantasizing about having sex with him?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): To be honest I dont think you should be worried. I used to know a woman in her 50's who was married and would openly flirt with men between 21-25. Your feelings are not a wrong thing to have and besides you're not acting on them. I also know a woman who dated a man about 20 years younger than her, its not uncommon. Where as I would suggest you tell anyone about it in case they blow it out of proportion, its not an odd crush you have.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2008): I've been searching for an answer to a similar situation!
I'm obsessed with someone 20+ years younger than me. I would never follow through with anything or initiate anything either but enjoy his company and don't want to give that up either!
I'm married with children and plan to stay that way.
I am almost thinking I should see a "shrink"
There is nothing unhealthy that I know of about our friendship but feel guilty I guess.
All we have is a friendship and I would like to keep it that way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2008): I'm much the same at the moment: very recently separated from a partner and having silly romantic thoughts about a younger man who has hinted he'd like a date with me. I guess it's natural to dream that you can bounce from one relationship that didn't work out right into true love. But generally these hasty rebound relationships don't work, so like you, I won't be acting on my feelings and am just trusting that they will pass in time.
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