A
male
age
41-50,
*peedy
writes:I broke up with my ex girlfriend 6 months ago--we had been together for four years (we are both 28). Another girl came on to me and I did not tell my ex for two months. I have tried so hard to get back with her but she does not want me back. Do you think I should just try and move on? I still love her so much. People say it would never work out again because it would always come up. And now she just does not want to know me. Thanks for your help.
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broke up, ex girlfriend, get back together, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (29 June 2007):
 Noooooo it wouldn't look stupid to other people, in fact I think they would respect you for it. As long as the card isn't too mushy and you make a point of telling her in it that the girl in question came on to YOU and all you did was push her away. You never told her about it earlier because it was no big deal! Again, wish her all the best for her future happiness and leave it at that. The ball would be in her court then whether or not to make contact with you again or not but at least you took the initiative in sending her a card apologising for hurting her in a mature way. If she doesn't want to be with you after that then it's HER loss and you really need to move on.
No matter how much you care about a person you can't MAKE them love you...
Eve
A
male
reader, speedy +, writes (29 June 2007):
speedy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Eve how are you? I thought about sending the card I would like to send it. Just be worried that she might show it to other people but I suppose if she did I might look very stupid.
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A
male
reader, speedy +, writes (27 June 2007):
speedy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks eve your such a good person.no bullshit you just say it as it is. i cant say enoff how much im greatfuul for your help. im accully crying here writeing this. think i must be loseing it. cause my love for dat women is so strong. it feels like i lost my true flame. thanks so much.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (27 June 2007):
You could send her a card with "I'm sorry" on the front of it. Inside, explain to her that all you did was push the girl away and you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You still care for her but if she doesn't want to be with you anymore then so be it and you will move on. Wish her every happiness for her future and say you hope she finds true happiness in her life. If she has any conscience at all she'll see what a bitch she's being. She's blowing things all out of proportion here and is telling her friends she could never be with you again for the attention of it all.
It looks to me as if you've seen this woman in her true light! Would you really want to be with someone who bad mouths you like that? It does make you think though does it not?
If you decide to send the card then leave it there. No texts, no phone calls, nothing, until she gets in touch with you. You take the lead here, let her see that you can rise about her silly immature ways. Don't keep playing her games though if she just texts you back and forward and isn't willing to talk face to face with you like a mature adult to resolve the situation. If she decides (after you send your card) that she definitely doesn't want to get back together again then you need to move on and that means severing all ties with her. If you don't your wounds will never heal.
Eve
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A
male
reader, speedy +, writes (27 June 2007):
speedy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your replies it was stupid of me not 2 tell her cause noting happened. i just pushed the other girl away. the other couple were good friends of ours. well so i tought. we were geting on ok lately sending each other the odd text. untill up 2 a few days ago we say each other at a club. and she went up 2 a few friends of mine saying she could never talk 2 me again. but it was ok 2 talk on the phone but not around other people. i dunno since that nite its just got nasty. she has been text me telling me how much she hates me now. and 2 take a hint. it was all ok b4 that. just all nice talk in text. i still love her so much even after all the bad stuff. has been said. maybe its just time 2 move on. i wish there was some it elce i could do. put i guess its just time 2 move on.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (25 June 2007):
When this girl came on to you did you respond and come on to her too? Not telling her has made her lose trust in you and let's face it, IF nothing happened then you had nothing to hide. This has obviously hurt her, hence the break up. I wouldn't try and get in touch with her, that's up to her! In the meantime yes, I would try and move on and learn from this for future relationships. It's always hard when we break up with someone, especially as you were together for quite a while, and yes, if she still felt secure in her relationship with you then she might throw it back in your face in times of arguments and start to resent you.
Here's a link about how to get over a breakup, I hope it helps you.
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-a-Break-Up
Eve
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A
female
reader, ceoruby  +, writes (25 June 2007):
 So sorry to say it but you will have to be strong and move on. This relationship is over and you must learn that there is always some good in every bad situation. This is not the end of the world for you, and your ex girlfriend will never forgive you. The answer to your question is already within you. Please recognize it.....
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