A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright people I would like to thank anyone who took the time to read this post. Ok so I am in this relationship that will be 2 years in a few days. I've been with this girl since my sophomore year in high school and recently I have a "Wall" in this relationship. Let me explain...So I chased this girl to be mine my freshman year and I finally got her to be mine. So I tried hard for her to be my girl. Now as time went on we became closer and we eventually told each other we loved each other. Which was good. I mean basically I have done all my "firsts" with her (i.e kiss, dance, 2nd base...etc). And well here's the problem I feel highly unappreciated. I mean I do soo much for her to the point where I emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically strain myself for her to be happy.I try my best to let her know that I love her. I tell her that I love her each day, I kiss her hands, try to hug her when I can. I mean I try to show affection. But sometimes I don't get a response from her or she won't do the same back to me. Like I mean we rarely kiss...huh... And mean the only thing we do is hold hands.I have told her. Any times to show me some affection and she says she will but she doesn't and she even asked me if I "knew her" or even try with her. To me that was an insult like here I am giving all my heart to her and she said it was basically not good enough.i was torn apart and I was seconds away to calling it off because moments like that have happened throughout the relationship. So she realized I was upset and was gonna break up with her until she finally showed me something and actually fought to keep me with her.She says I mean a lot to her but I don't see it unless we are on the phone or until moments of tension happen. I even asked her why she won't show me affection and she said she will only tell me when she feels its right!!!!! WTH? I feel taken for granted and I even have the heart to take the blame from her when it is her fault or deny that she's a bitch to me when she says she is (which is true). She mistreats me, and other people see and she gets mad because she knows it's true, she knows how bad of a girlfriend she is to me and she still won't change. I have even asked other girls on their point of view and they said to call it off. Now I turn to you, what do I do? I still love her, we shared a lot together but I am so close to calling it quits!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2011): Thanks people. Today ima attempt to call it off or take a break from her. See how it goes
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2011): You're way too young to be in a relationship like this. But actually, NO ONE should have to endure this kind of poor behavior. Problem is, I'm in the same position. It's only when I am pushed to the point of drama (crying, attempting to break up with him) that my boyfriend will suddenly be able to show the affection that I have asked for and that I show him myself and that I need FOR myself. I think people like this realize the gems they have in people like you and I--givers and pleasers matched up with takers and users--and they'd be stupid to let us go, but they just aren't interested enough to invest any more in the relationship than they have to. We need to grow a pair and either put them in their place or walk. It's our choice--we hold the power in this situation. It scares me to death to think I might lose him if I take that ultimate stand and leave for what I need. And if he doesn't desperately chase after me and willingly and openly show his love then he really wasn't worth my extreme investment in the relationship and I'll find someone new. Keep that in mind. Trust me. There are LOTS of girls out there who will appreciate all that you can do for them--go find one and knows how to give love and how to self-sacrifice herself. Good luck and keep us posted on what happens!
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (2 December 2011):
 I'm with female anon. Back off a bit and become a little distant yourself with her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2011): This girl knows you're giving her your all so she's choosing to take full advantage of that. I was in a relationship like this and to be honest, it is true that the more emotionally available you are, the more people stomp on you. Either pull away a bit and see how she reacts - and continue that. Or call it off. She doesn't sound like a very good girlfriend to me, and she isn't doing her "duties" for lack of a better world, as a girlfriend. You deserve someone who doesn't need to be ASKED to show affection but someone who shows it regardless. I say call it off.
Good luck!
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