A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really like my friends ex-boyfriend. She broke up with him 6 months ago because he was kind of controlling. They had been going out for over a year. Two months ago, I harbored no feelings for him, only as a friend of course, but then we started to talk and I don't know how but, I developed feelings for him. One month ago, we confessed we liked each other and since then, we've been talking more and hanging out more often. I don't know what to do. He tells me he would like to date me but there's obstacles in our way. 1). He's my friends ex. 2). We don't want to have the serious problems that couples have when they're together, like jealousy. My friend is the kind of friend who you say hi to one in a while. We're not close but even though, I still feel bad. I've talked to my other friend about this and she told me to just straight up tell her and that she might be angry but she will respect that I told her. What should I do? He's already gave me a kiss on the lips and told me he likes me. Should I stop talking to him? I really like him. When I was with my ex I never got the feeling that I do with this guy. He makes my heart flutter and my ex never gave me that feeling. If I do tell her, how should I tell her? Please help!
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 December 2011):
 Ah, then there's no need to tell her that you're going to be dating her ex. But it's completely up to you.
For the whole jealousy thing, don't carry your past issues in old relationships into your future ones. It creates too much of an unnecessary problem.
As long as you remain true ti your boyfriend, you can talk to whomever you wish, regardless of the gender. Same goes for your boyfriend. You should be secure enough in this relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm sorry for not giving enough description on some parts! My friend is an acquaintance. We have never hung out but we do say hi once in a while. And for reason number 2, because in my past relationship, my ex was always jealous if I talked to a guy which began to get ms jealous because he would be able to talk to girls while I couldn't talk to guys. I hope this explains enough!
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 December 2011):
Explain why there's a number 2? Why would there be jealousy? Maybe because he's a controlling guy.
Is she more of an acquaintance or actually a friend you hang outside of school with??
If she's an acquaintance you say "hi " to in passing and have never hung out with her outside of school walls, then there's no need to tell her.
HOWEVER, if you've already said something to a mutual friend(?) then you might want to tell her before word gets out, making you look bad. Plus, you have nothing to hide.
Just tell her you're going to date her late ex boyfriend. I'm sure she won't care because she was the one who dumped him.
P.S. I'd tread carefully in this relationship since he has a controlling reputation.
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