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male
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anonymous
writes: Last night whilst out for a meal, my girlfriend of just over a year began too cry randomly. This is now the second time she has cried in public and the fourth she has cried in front of me. I had not seen her for a week before this so had obviously missed her. We had a few disagreements before over stupid things and this had left her in a bit of a kiddy strop.When she started crying she said she was horemonal and it was not her fault. After the meal we both went home and she text me saying that she was 'overwhelmed with happiness and how much she loved me' and this is why she cried, yet she said she was horemonal as it was time of the month. I had, had enough as I thought it was an excuse as she did not seem happy at all when she cried.The next day I went out in the morning and had a few problems with my car and text her and because I did not put 'I love you' after each text,it apparantly 'sent the alarm bells ringing'. So she phoned me too discuss things. I basiacally told her what i thought and how embaressed I was at her crying. She says I have changed and 9 months ago I would have listened too her. I caught her out at one point when she said 'Months ago when I was genuinly upset (which was about her grandad) you would have listened too me, now you don't sound like you care'.Apparantly in a relationship you should express how you feel with emotions and reasure people that way. I feel she has gotten herself into a tangle and is digging herself deeper as she was not happy when crying one bit.Can anyone give me any opinions on this behaviour please. Thankyou
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female
reader, vina_101  +, writes (22 January 2007):
 She can't keep crying about little things like this. It's ridiculous. There has to be some reason behind it. No grown woman is silly enough to cry over little things so easily. And I don't think your girlfriend is silly I just think there is something she is not telling you about that you haven't talked about. You should talk about this together. You're telling me when you first started dating and when she cried like this you never questioned what could be going on in her mind? You didn't think something was up? You just assumed that the crying was due to her hormones? And you're only just questionning it now? Waste no more time. Get to the bottom of this crying and see if you can help her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBasiacally yes, she has cried before even a few months into the relationship when I was a bit down. I don't know why but usually in these dark months I get a bit down, as I love the sun! but who doesn't? lol. I am confused at times because she started crying once when I didn't feel like staying the night at her house. She eventually got her won way and I stayed. She cried in public then too. This time because we haven't seen each other that much recently, she admits 'she is more sarcastic and defensive' and im really confused why. I expect her too be happy when she sees me, and too cry in public the other day about 'being overwhelmed' is just not what Im used too and i do think its strange. Im just honest.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2007): Probably like a lot of men out there, you sound like you are feeling manipulated by your gf's crying. I look at it another way. She is trying to tell you she is unhappy because she feeling insecure and uncertain about this relationship. And it likely is a very emotionally, trying time for her. She's right...you should express how you feel to her more often. Do you find it hard for you to offer her reassurances, support and love? These actions and behaviors are all part of being in a good, healthy relationship.But it sounds like you are too negatively hung up on thinking she's trying to 'scam' some attention and lovin' out of you. Have you neglected her? Is your relationship getting boring? Are you complacent and refusing to display love? If you are doing this or even thinking this way..she's picked up on it and she's sad because of it. Are you really doing your part in keeping your woman happy, dear? She loves you and she sounds very distraught and worried. She's missing what you both had at one time..she's despondent over something that is lacking, something she senses is going wrong, between you both. I suggest you sit with her and ask her lovingly and calmly...what is really going on in her head. Perhaps, you are messing with her head. If you aren't happy yourself, perhaps you should think about calling this a day. If you do go this route, take what you learned from this relationship and remember..it's okay to express yourself to the woman you love. We're vibrant, we're fun, we're loving but we are emotional creatures and we need to hear nice words. When in a relationship, always work hard at giving of yourself and it'll come to you ..tenfold. Take care, dear.
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A
female
reader, vina_101 +, writes (20 January 2007):
Ok Ponungalungb...It's official. I'm the only female in the world who doesn't get PMS. No seriously, I think I am (that's probably why I'm not as understanding). This is just my opinion but... I think SOME women use it as an excuse to lash out or act like a drama queen. If I'm angry I'm angry for a reason. If I'm sad I'm sad for a reason I don't blame it on hormomnes. But that's just me and I know every female is different and for some females my opinion could be wrong and offensive but each to her own. I was just offering the question asker my opinion on the matter since it was asked for. :) The more opinions he gets the easier it will be to find a solution.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (20 January 2007):
 You said "Apparantly in a relationship you should express how you feel with emotions and reassure people that way."
Apparently that isn't your strong suit.
Women with PMS or hormone imbalances are prone to cry over anything. They are highly emotional. Saying "she has issues" sounds like she has control over it. She more than likely doesn't.
There are other medical problems that can cause hormonal imbalances, like a thyroid condition. Without conjecturing, I'd suggest she see a doctor who specializes in hormonal imbalances. If you really love her, try to be a little more supportive. Good luck.
As for Vina101, I'm surprised a female like yourself isn't a little more understanding.
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A
female
reader, vina_101 +, writes (20 January 2007):
She's got issues. Do not blame yourself for her problems. She is the one with the problem. I think she is being really attention seeking and she just wants pity, smypathy and attention so that she can feel loved. That's the only reason why I think she's doing this. You two have been together for just over a year right so has she always cried like this? Or has she suddenly started now?
She sounds really needy. There seem to be a lot of issues she needs to deal with and I think she's keeping it all bottled up instead of telling you. So to stop this I think you need to let her know that you care about her and that she can tell you anything. There must be a reason for her crying and I don't think she has told you what it is. Sit and talk to her and find out what it is that has been bothering her. I doubt it will be anything that you've done though.
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