A
female
age
41-50,
*ancer
writes:i met a guy for a first date.he's 28 and im 25.we got on really well. you could easily tell we we're comfortable with each other, he told my best mate before we met that he wanted a gf.so durring the date we jusy went with the flow, both thinking whatever happens, happens, he was so keen in me. at the end of the first night he asked for sex coz i was seeing him for the weekend, i said ok. so we selpt with eachother.on the 2nd day everything was still fantastic with him, he was holding my hand and giving me little peck kisses 4 no reason.we live 2hrs away from eachother. when i left to go back home i said that he should visit and he agreed, when i got back home i had'nt heard from him si i called my best friend and she gave him a txt saying "how did yr date go? r u going to be bf and gf?" he txt her back "date was fantastic,she's a top girl, i dont want a relationship,i want fun and be a good friend to her" ive not heard from him at all.he hasnt even told me.i really like him,there was loads of chemistry andloads in common between us. i believe he has lost interest in me and i want him back. how do i regain his interest? why hasnt he contacted me? even though he said he wants to be my best friend he still aint contacted me when i txted him "how r u?". plus he's 28yrs so he should be able to be mature with me and talk to me. please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): This happened to me TWICE and both from online dating. The first guy I slept with I genuinely fell for him, and I stupidly thought it would lead to a relationship. How wrong was I? He completely changed after, he was so distant and cut me off after saying he had found someone else.
The second time it happened I kind of knew this guy was one track minded, he was quite obvious about it. I went on a couple of dates with him but I ended up sleeping with him on the 3rd date. I felt really disgusting after, because the whole experience was meaningless and shallow.
I don't think I can do casual sex again. I need to get my self-worth back!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2007): I can totally relate to you!.. Just got totally played myself, was told all the right things. Spent the whole weekend with a guy and did exactly the same. He gave me the impression he wanted a relationship with me, was cuddling me in public and acting just like my boyfriend!. Then when the weekend came to an end I was brushed off, when we parted company. Haven't heard and am gutted but more annoyed at myself, for falling for his crap!!...When will us girls learn?? xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): Why don't you just let go and move on rather than trying to gain his interest back. Dear, there is this saying that goes like this, 'giving is no guarantee of getting anything back'. If he's not calling you back, it seems he's just 'not that into you' and I am sorry. No female/male deserves this. Sometimes in life, we all make spontaneous decisions and we get burnt. This could one of those moments for you. Sweetie, he is a weak man who exploits and manipulates others. For him to have done this to you, you didn't have much of a man anyways. Don't sit by the phone, pining away for a guy you had a weekend with, and wishing he would call. Chalk this up to a learning experience and get out and enjoy the positive, happy aspects that life offers you. Go lead an amazing life and feel good about yourself, you don't need to dwell or scheme up ways to get him to notice you or come back. C'mon girl-you are stronger than that. Just remember you are fantastic just for who you are...and he's the biggest 'loser' in all this. Good luck, dear and take care of yourself and never allow a man to ever treat you this way again!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): Dont waste any more energy on this one! It happens everyday to thousands of girls along the way. Just wait he will eventually call you when next he gets horny. Don't be a fool and give him anymore without discussing your expectations.
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (21 January 2007):
 This guy should have told you that he did not want a relationship not your friend.
I think you slept together a bit to soon. Sounds as if he did not see you as a challenge anymore.
All you can do is learn from the experience, take it slow next time and move on from this guy.
Unfortunately, there is a minority out there of people that started this new trend, "friends with benefits" crap.
Which is fine if both people agree to have the same type of relationship and are happy with it, it is just hurtful when the other person does not know!
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2007): he should have spoke to you first before your friend.maybe he feels scared about his own feelings,maybe he feels strong about you and dare not admit it.men do sometimes run a mile when they are scared of their own feeling or about commitment.plus if he says he justs wants fun and wants to be your friend, then why did he tell your friend before he met up with you that he wanted a girlfriend, and why ask you to visit him, travel 2hrs, for a weekend just for fun and to use you. if he wanted fun and to use someone he could have easily met someone where he lives. if you want him back i would do nothing, dont call him, let him miss you
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2007): if u give a guy sex that easily he's never going to be interested in you long term. I wud never go out with a girl i slept with on the first nite bcos i wud think if i can do it so can any other guy! So to sum up u've screwed it up...take it as a learning curve and dont make the same mistake again!
ASV (20yrs old)
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (20 January 2007):
 He said he wants to be mates to your friend because he didn't want to admit he just used you for sex. Sorry if that sounds harsh but that's what happened here. You're not the first girl its happened to and I'd lay money on you not being the last.
CD
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2007): He wanted fun, thats what he got, and now hes gone...end of...if you never discussed a future, then don't expect one !
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