A
male
age
36-40,
*teveSteve
writes: Dear All ... I have only just discovered what happened and Im devistated , my wonderful g/f of 4 Years ( well I used to think wonderful ) Went to a really " out there " Hens Night for the bride to be , It was in the city where there is much entertainment , however they had their own private function with all shorts of entertainment Including private male strippers . The strippers came out , the girls went crazy as the show continued they were grabbing the guys equipment , some girls attempting hand relief , and some performing Oral Sex , Im told this part of the show continued for 15 - 20 minutes ..and my girl performed oral sex with the stripper. Its simply impossible for me to look at ther the same way ..I ask ..What else has she done? How could I ever trust her again ? Has anyone ever been to one of these parties ? ..At this point she is unaware that I know what happened .. Please help me .. What are your views ?
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cheated on me, oral sex, stripper Reply to this Question
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male
reader, ClayMan88  +, writes (1 April 2011):
I have seen videos of these sorts of parties on porn sites. (Yes I like porn.) Basically even if you weren't drunk you would feel a lot of peer pressure to participate in what's going on. The stripper almost forces the girl to do something. He dangles his erect dick in front of them and waits for them to do something as everyone else around the girl screams with joy egging her on. It could be totally possible that she didn't want to do anything but she also didn't want to seem like the party pooper so she gave the guy a short blow job to please the crowed. I am not saying what she did was right I and just saying she may have felt like she didn’t have a choice. It could have been worse. At the end of these parties the stripper will often times pick a girl by random and either cum on her face or full on fuck them in-front of everybody.
A
male
reader, Russell101  +, writes (9 May 2010):
This is what really pisses me off right. When a guy goes for his stag night and goes to a strip club the girl is safe in the knowledge that the guys arent allowed to touch the girls because there are 20 odd big mean bouncers there making sure they dont but as soon as its a male stripper the girls can do whatever they want to him. Sorry mate, but alcohol is SUCH a poor excuse for doing what she did. I've been more than pissed before but I would never dream of doing anything like that to my girl. It shows a total lack of respect, not to mention she was probably hoping she would get away with it. Dump her mate, she's a no good cheater!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2010): my soon to be wife went out to a club one night and had sex with a stripper... i later found out she was a complete whore and had sex with 4 other guys that summer... dump her i prmois its for the best!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): to be honest you should leave her. no woman who truly loves you would ever consider oral sex with another man. leave her.
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A
male
reader, SteveSteve +, writes (18 February 2010):
SteveSteve is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thankyou All ..really good advice , please understand Im incredibly upset , and YES my source is MORE than reliable ..there is no question as to what occured , It happened .... I wish it did not .
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): Who told you? Is your source truly credible? Is it someone who may want to break up your relationship? Can you confirm by asking someone else?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): Yes, some people do crazy or stupid things when they are drunk. They sometimes do things that they would never do when sober or would think terrible of when sober. So she probably did something that she feels bad about and would never want to do that again. That is the good way of thinking about what she did.
Now for the bad. How can you ever trust her again to go out with her friends drinking? What if she gets drunk and ends up in bed with someone for the night? Perhaps that is unlikely, but you will always worry about it when she is out. You will always wonder if she is in bed with someone.
I mildly had some of these feelings many years ago. My wife once slept with a guy who she knew and had no intention of sleeping with, but did so when she was drunk. It was before we started dating and she was not in a committed relationship at the time. She told me about it and that worried me when she would go out with the girls, as she would sometimes pick up guys when she was single and not even drunk. She knew that and would call me as soon as she got home if she was not staying with me that night and tell me that she got home safely. It was her way of making me feel comfortable about her going out and drinking. Because of all of this, I was never worried about her going home with someone. Now your situation is much different than this. She is in a relationship with you and did this with a stranger. I would be much more worried about the future if this had happened to me.
The first thing is to tell her that you know about it and ask her to tell you exactly what happened. She how she reacts and how remorseful she is about her actions. If she just shrugs it off then you will know that she might not be remorseful about it at all. That would not be a good sigh. If she seems concerned about how you feel and seems ashamed or bothered by what she did then there is hope that she will always be more careful.
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A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (18 February 2010):
 I can only imagine what you are feeling! Is it possible to just chalk it up to a night of crazy drunkin' women...doing things they would never normally do?
If not then, you need to tell her you know...and even who told you! Try to work it out! I'm sure she is remorseful and feels terrible carrying this secret around!
We have all done crazy things when we drink too much! We all do things we regret. Give her an opportunity to make ammends to you! She can only do that if you confront her with situation!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 February 2010):
I've heard of these parties. Some Stag nights and hen nights do get out of control. And this got out of control. I think you need to talk to her first and see what she says. Then you will be in a better position to know what to do. To be honest though, if she did do something this low, dump her. She had no excuse at all. If you'd treated her badly, or if the relationship had become rocky, I would have understood more. But if she did this, think carefully about whether you would really want to be with someone who cheated just because of a hen night. That's such a pitiful excuse.
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