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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hey i am a 15 year old male.I recently lost my virginity to a girl who i love she is 3 years older than me, we were going out at the time.She recently broke up with me saying that because i was so bad in bed she ahd to go somewhere else for sex and she had fallen for the other guy and had gone off me because i was shit at sex.She has also told all the people i know and the people in my schhol how bad i was, and so know girls do not go near me and none of them will date me.Is there anyway to try and win her back?Is there anyway to improve at sex?Is there anyway to get the girls not to hate me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MorganRenee  +, writes (10 August 2008):
 Her spreading that rumor is the same as hitting you...that is a type of abuse and NO school will stand for it first of all....secondly you are really young...and of course you're not gonna be a ron jeremy. That girl was really wrong and you shouldnt want her back. I know how you feel though....bc she was your first you feel more attacted to her...my first I got engaged to and he was abusive...But dont let one selfish girl ruin your life...and as far as getting better at sex...lolz...probably time lolz the more you age the more you understand.
***Missy***
A
male
reader, shinez  +, writes (10 August 2008):
call the freaking police.....come on....the freak law! Hello?!
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (8 August 2008):
 Good God you are only 15!!!! What does she expect a porn star? Why would you want to get back with a silly little cow, who does nothing but belittle you?
Forget her!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): First of all,why the hell do you want her back?She cared nothing about you emotionally and just wanted your body.
She's like a girl with a typical guy's mind(some guys just
think about sex).But have you told a teacher or guidance counselor about this?Absolutely NO ONE has the right to spread a rumor around about somebody,especially of that kind.Talk to a guidance counselor as soon as possible.As for the girls,I think you should just gather them up and tell them who you really are and that what she said was HER
opinion on your performance and tell them that they should
get to know you before they judge you and ask if anyone's
interested in dating you.That's your decision to do that,
but by the way you said it,it was just a rumor,and the girls believed it and won't go out with you because of it,so it seems like they just want sex too.So I don't think
that any of them are worth it.But if you do,give it a go.As
for the sex,I don't think you should be worrying about that
cause you're only 15.But other aunts and uncles will help
you.For I can't,I'm only 13,and know nothing about sex
(experience wise).But keep us updated and message me if you
want to talk about this or anything else.wish you the best.x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): Aw, you you! First though, why on earth would you want to win her back!?
Time to forget her, mate. Best to get over this failed relationship and before you know it, you'll meet someone else.
Improving at sex is just something that comes naturally with the right person. I lost my virginity around your age to someone who was about 6 years older than me. At the time it definitely felt like she was way more experienced and I was lacking, but now all these years on, I can only just smile about how exceptional it all was - it was definitely quite an experience. You too will look back on your times and it won't seem so bad.
Maybe the girls you know right now "hate you" as you put it, but at your age, so many new people come in to your life so quickly. Before you know it, you'll be friends with people who don't know your sexual history and with what you have learnt with your ex you can pass on to your new girlfriends.
It will all work out for the best, so try not to stress about it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008): Try not to worry about it too much. At your age, people in School have short memory spans and it will soon be forgotton. In the mean time, laugh it off - if everyone sees it doesnt affect you they will drop it.
Secondly, I can't understand why you want her back. She sounds like a bitch to me. But I understand, she was your first etc.
Thirdly the only way to improve at sex is to do it. It's a bit like riding a unicycle. If you ride it once you are not going to be any good, but keep doing it and you will improve. Books can give you some good techniques but dont expect them to turn you into a sex god overnight. Agin with the unicycle analogy - you can read theory about how to ride one but it's not really the same thing, is it?
The best advice I can give you is put this down to experience. Find someone better than this cold hearted bitch and move on. Things can only get better :-)
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A
male
reader, xnickx +, writes (7 August 2008):
 Being a 15 year old male myself i understand a lot of what you're saying. You love this girl and will do any thing for her right?
Agreeing with dearkeljia, why do do you want to win her back? do you love her only cause she is hot or she gave you sex? Or is it deeper? I can't tell you what to do. I can tell you that getting back with her is a mistake in my oppinion.
But if you want her back that badly, and sex is the only reason you to broke up, tell her that you will do anything to win her back including trying to improve sex, but only if you really mean it.
It sounds like to me however that sex is one of the only reasons you got together, and that she truly doesn't love you back. If she HAD to go to someone else for sex, she was just using you.
The only way you can improve your sex is practice and talking to your partner about what she would like/expect.
And the girls will eventually come back to talking to you. If they don't, then they're not worth your time, because then they would only be wanting you for sex and not whats deeper.. It's not like you did some hideous act, most ppl have sex sometime in their life.
However, it could have to do rather with you had sex. A lot of girls will see you as immature, or a pig for what you did with the previous girl. They would rather truely be loved for something more than a sex object.
In any case, i highly reccommend you not get back with her. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (7 August 2008):
 This is a girl who ran around and told everyone how bad you are in bed and she was so shallow about it all that she broke up with you and you are asking if you can win her back? Why would you want to? She doesn't sound like a very nice woman.
Give yourself some time. The girls will forget and there are plenty of nice girls out there who it wont matter for. It is too bad you chose to lose your virginity to someone who truly did not care about you and with whom you could not work with to improve.
You will improve at sex with the right partner. Girls will not hate you if you respect them and treat them right. Open doors for them, talk to them about their interests, etc. When you start dating another girl, and you will, get to know her before sex. This way you will have a much better emotional investment and the sex will be better just because of that. The first time with a new partner is always a little off so expect that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008): First your questions:
1) Yes, but why would you want to if she's that shallow and impatient?
2) Yes, it's called experience, experimenting, and practice.
3) In most cases being yourself and respectful to women works wonders.
Don't pander to her. She'll say what she wants to get under your skin. If you choose to let it affect you, she wins the battle - get it? This girl is nothing but a vicious package of high-school drama. Karma catches up to girls like that. You don't want this girl back - trust me on that. You'll end up with 0 self-esteem in the end, my friend.
If you want to read up on better lovemaking - I suggest beginning with The Joy of Sex. Be patient with yourself and find a girl who's MUCH nicer and more your speed/type.
Good Luck!
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