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anonymous
writes: I've been with my girlfriend for 3 yrs and we both are 17. We got engaged and everything seemed like picture perfect but things got worse now. She came to me saying we need to take time apart because she wants to better herself for me become the perfect woman for me. I love her to death and would do anything but she asks me to wait for her while she improves. At first I said no, that if she left I woudn't wait. In the end I realized I can't live without her and agreed to wait here for her. She says she wants to be just friends for now but I don't see how this will work when I've become seriously depressed after this and suicidal thoughts have entered my mind since then. What do I do?
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male
reader, Decentguy1  +, writes (21 September 2005):
Hey Buddy,
I know you are in alot of pain right now, and it seems
unbearable. That is what is causing you to have such depression. But first, if you are having suicidal thoughts,
and are seriously considering hurting yourself, I have
to tell you you must speak to an adult immediately and tell
them your feelings. DO NOT keep them to yourself...just telling someone will release your feelings and make it more
tolerable. Why don't you let her be your friend for now, and tell her if she wants, maybe you could go out once a week as friends..that way you will feel better, and she gets to have a friend, instead of an upset boyfriend..call her and ask her...if she says not yet, be strong, it doesn't mean she rejects you as a person, but that she is just feeling unsure. If you push her, you'll have to opposite affect. Just tell her you love her and you'll be
there for her, and then try to keep yourself busy..easier said than done, but you can and will be able to do it, then the reward will be worth it!
Good Luck!!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2005): God,man, you are both too young to be playing Romeo and Juliet! You both need to grow up, and learn from others. I had an " Older woman"- She was about 7 months older than me, but a year ahead of me in high school- chasng me for three years in high school, and when I was 17, I realizes what a wonderful girl she was, and how easy it was for me to talk to her, and how much I liked her daily company. That was almost 40 years ago, and although we have both gone our separate ways, and married other people, we still keep in touch, and cherish our long friendship, and, yes, love. When we were young we talked about how convenient it was that we lived 2000 miles apart, as it probably saved 2 marriages! Today, I am still as passionately in love with her as I was at 17, and I know there is still a tender spot in her heart for me. I have no regrets, although I still would like to have been her lover. Considering the differences in our interests and our lives, it is hard to believe we could have made a marriage work, but it would have been fun trying. If you are as lucky as I was, take the time to grow yourself. Keep in touch with her, and be a good listener. It is rare to find another person you are comfortable sharing your joys , fears, heartaches, and dreams. Be that person for her, and she may find you are the true gem in her life afterall.
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