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My girlfriend and my friend/roommate are way too close for comfort! Should I be concerned and who should I be upset with?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 June 2019) 5 Answers - (Newest, 26 June 2019)
A male United States age 41-50, *ybersportz writes:

I've been seeing this this young girl for couple months now. Very passionate with each other sex is great! She says I love you and so do I and I do love her.we started out as friends.. anyway, recently I moved in with my friend into a two-bedroom he's a good friend of mine. He's really charming so immediately grabs attention from the opposite sex. so naturally my girlfriend and him I've been hanging out with each other. I found out she has spending a lot of time there because I gave her a house key.. just recently showed up to my work together she came to visit me to bring me food and he was with her the thing is they went out to eat and I got leftovers from their meal! should I be worried I told him that makes me uncomfortable he actually refrained what time to stop going out to hang out with her and actually got her really upset . She gets really mad at me easily in place to break up with me and get back with me.. so my question is where is the line and how much should I be concerned who should I be upset with? she actually told me that she wishes that her boyfriend would be friends was her roommate or best friend I know how you feel about that but overall living together makes me uncomfortable and it leaves me feeling like the third wheel.. any advice would be great ...thank you

View related questions: best friend, I love you, moved in, roommate

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2019):

OP, you made yourself the third wheel, as you say, when you moved in with a horn dog roomate, and then gave your young girlfriend the key to your castle! You and she do not love each other! Your girlfriend has no sense of loyalty, respect, or boundries! I would dare to say that the meal of leftovers from their date at a restaurant, is not the only leftovers that you get. I imagine that the sex is off the chain, so wet so wild! That could be because you are her second serving of the day! She as much as told you that she wants to do a couples swap. What is even worse, is that if you break up with her, then she will be spending her nights in your roomates bed, so that you can listen to the headboard crash into his wall, so that you can lay alone hearing and knowing what they are doing to each other! Yeah brother, you have set yourself up, for some real torture, because you already know, how good it is! If I were you, I would be truly angry with myself. Lets face it Bro, you shot yourself, in the foot! Oh well.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2019):

I meant to write:

"lady's-man."

"Well, some combinations aren't good to put together; but you have to know your friends, and who you can trust."

"Generally, most women would immediately think something was up; if you were running around with one of her girlfriends without her along!"

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2019):

Get your own place and then you don't have to be insecure about your women. You describe her as a young woman, and him as a lady's--man. Well, some combinations are good to put together; but you have to know your friends and who you can trust.

You've made him aware you're uncomfortable with him hanging-out with your lady. He should have known better without being asked. On the other hand, your girlfriend getting angry at you for telling him so, is a little suspect. Generally, am women would immediately think something was up; if you were running around with one of her girlfriends without her along! How would she like it if you did?

Institute the guy-code with your buddy, and leave it alone. If you don't trust her, and she seems all too interested in him; then you made your bed by introducing the two of them.

I will assume she's in her 20's; and you know how millennials have a strong sense of entitlement. Your friends are HER friends; and if she likes him, that's that! She may not recognize these boundaries; but at the same-time, you may be a little too insecure about how connected you two are.

You don't give your girlfriend a key when you have a male-roommate. What about his right to privacy?

You've given it to her, now you have to trust her. She sounds flaky anyway, if she's always breaking-up with you. That's how she gets her way. Now you're worried she's sniffing around your bud. Next-time you breakup, let it be for good. You're too old for this nonsense!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (22 June 2019):

Honeypie agony auntI had to check your age, because I just don't see ADULTS who are dating seriously breaking up over little things after ONLY a couple of months... THAT is teenager stuff!

The reason she said :"she wishes that her boyfriend would be friends was her roommate or best friend" is to make HER own actions of spending time with YOUR friend and room mate, OK. I can see them going out to lunch if you two were an ESTABLISHED couple, perhaps - not this soon in. It seems like she is moving in your life, so to speak and that might be just a tad too fast for most people.

I have to agree with N91, she sounds immature and dramatic and not really SERIOUS about you.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2019):

N91 agony auntI think the thing you need to be considering here is whether this relationship actually has any potential. You’ve been together months and she’s already breaking up with you over things? Does that honestly sound like the foundation of a good relationship?

I think a lot of drama is ahead if you decide to stick at this. I for one would be forgetting about this one and moving on.

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