A
female
age
30-35,
*omics
writes:Well my girlfriend and I arn't speaking again. She literally makes me feel nuts with how double standard she is.We were talking about how you can fall in love with two people, she claims she would be okay if I cheated on her and fell for someone else, I said she wouldn't and that's because a few days ago she lost her head because some girl called me cute. From that everything just escalated, she dragged up a comment I made 9 months ago. Once again I had to defend myself over it, but I suppose she's decided to accept some blame in our break up at Christmas. Please answer me one question. Am I wrong to think she is wrong to do this. I know she has lied to me in the past, hidden her relationship and her relationship status but she tries to weasle herself out of it. She spends basically all day talking to her ex online, she won't let me put lovey messages on her FB or tag her in pictures. I can't call her unless I ask her before I do so and even then it'll be denied. We only see each other when she chooses, she talks to me like I'm absolute crap and treats me like I'm dumb. There is so much in our past that she has done but yet all she does is deny it and how can I prove it when the proof she asks for, lays in her accounts that are guarded like Fort Knox. I know that because one time when I looked, I seen her telling her friend to report my family for fraud with false information. The other day when we were out, I was helping her put the numbers in for the cinema tickets, she grabbed me by the wrist and shoved me out the way which made me feel uncomfortable. I told her this yesterday and this is why we arn't speaking I believe. I did have her blocked online because she was spamming my Facebook messages on purpose to crash my phone, I unblocked her last night and now she's blocked me. What advice would you give this situation? There's no talking to her and she will excuse anything she's done with her depression.
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christmas, facebook, her ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2014): Look for another gf who will give you joy and love.
Its so stressful. There is nothing left for you n her.
Its time tosay bye....
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (24 August 2014):
Oh man, what a disaster.
I'm not going to bother telling you all the ways this girl is terrible because you just got done telling me. But, I am going to ask you a simple question: Are you happy? If not, what are you with this crazy woman? Don't say love. There's no way you could love her. A feeling of love can be brought on by insecurity which makes you feel like you NEED them, but it's not the same.
You don't love her, need her, or even like her. She's mentally abusive and doesn't deserve a decent boyfriend until she can get her own shit together. Promises won't change that. She needs counseling and real treatment.
Stop putting up with this and find a decent woman. You're perfectly capable of doing so. If you dump your gf you need to block her in every way possible and forget she existed. It'll be the best way to get over her.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 August 2014):
 It sounds like an absolutely horrid and unhealthy relationship. Why does she have all the power? Why haven't you just walked away? I mean WHAT do you gt out of this relationship? Other than being bullies, used and abused?
My advice change all your PW's, block her from everything in your life and MOVE on.
You CAN do a LOT better than her.
YOU are in charge of how people treat you. IF they TREAT you like crap you DO NOT deal with them.
She TREATS you the way she does because YOU allow it. And I suspect because she is a cow.
WANT more for yourself then being her punching bag, please.
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A
female
reader, Comics +, writes (24 August 2014):
Comics is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI hate the drama, over the past two years we've been together it's been a whole lot of stress for things that honestly do not matter. I haven't spoken to and she hasn't spoken to me yet, sometimes I think the love I had for her just hasn't been the same since Christmas when I caught her agreeing to date another guy, I sometimes think I'm staying because she's convinced me I'm no good for anyone and I believe I'm not, from the fear of been alone, I stay.
I really just wanted a simple relationship, without the restrictions she puts on it, yet denies they are there and makes me feel nuts because then it go to do what I know she's restricted and she will throw a fit.
I just feel kind of crappy atm, but I know I'd feel worse if I went and spoke to her, as I'll be expected to take the blame.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (24 August 2014):
Oh my goodness, what a horrible relationship this sounds like.
Why are you with her? Seriously, do you enjoy the drama? Because that's all this relationship is-at least, seems that way from our end.
You should end it and take a long, hard look at whatever part of you thought it was ok to live in such toxic turmoil.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2014): "Please answer me one question. Am I wrong to think she is wrong to do this."
No, but you are an absolute fool to think she is ever going to own up to her behavior.
". . . she talks to me like I'm absolute crap and treats me like I'm dumb."
She treats you like you're dumb because she thinks you are and given that you let her talk to you like you're absolute crap, I can't disagree with her.
"What advice would you give this situation?"
The obvious: Dump her, or otherwise accept the reality that you are a wuss who is content to let her keep your dick on a leash and balls in a jar for as long as she wants, which would appear to be indefinitely.
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A
female
reader, Lonely 81  +, writes (24 August 2014):
This relationship sounds pretty broken to me?! I can't imagine what she has to offer that would be worth all this game playing/drama?? A lot of what you have said would be major no nos for me, blocking each other on FB, that seems more like tit for tat then a double standard?
My advise would be cut & run!
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