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male
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anonymous
writes: I've been in a relationship with a great girl for two years now. She's my best friend and I absoulutely adore her, but I have one slight problem. I think I'm falling in love with someone else! I don't know what to do! This other girl has a boyfriend, but we've both hooked up before. We decided that being with our current partners was the smartest move for right now, and worked on just being friends with each other, but ever since then, my feelings for her have deepened, rather than lessened. Apparently I didn't do a very good job! I'm wondering if she feels the same. I can't stop thinking about her, and I think she's absoultely amazing! I find myself falling for her, even though I'm trying so hard not to. I feel like my heart's straying from my current, and relocating itself with this other girl. But what if she doesn't like me back, and I break up with my girlfriend for her? Or what if I stay with my current girlfriend, but miss out on someone absolutely amazing? I'm being so selfish, but I just don't know what else to do because I feel like this other girl may feel something for me back, as she has dropped little signs as of late. But I still can't be sure. So I don't know what move to make. Help!
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female
reader, karenw61 +, writes (29 July 2006):
you have an amazing girl friend
we always want what we cant have. if you go for the new girl what about your girl friend??????? would you like this to be done to you??? you may well move on to this new girl only to find out you really want your other girl friend only it may be to late. there is a saying that goes becareful what you wish for
regards karen
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (29 July 2006):
 I agree that your being selfish. Your currrent girlfriend is oblvious and its not fair. Im not trying to sound harsh but you got to look at it this way. If your head is turning for someone else then you are not as committed to your girl as you think you are. If all it takes is this new girl to say yeah i like you alot to, and then you leave your current gf that doesnt say alot about your 2 year relationship does it ? I know we all grow and change over time and we do get our heads swayed, but when we feel like that we need to ask am I happy in my current relationship ? If you were then i dont think you would be having these feelings for someone else. Its a bit naughty when you say if this other girl isnt intersted then i will stay with my current gf, almost makes it sounds like oh well she will do.. do you see what im saying ? If your not happy with you girl then dont stay there, just because someone else comes on the scene doesnt mean you have to jump, just try and work things out with your current gf. It does sound awful the way i put it, but it does seem that if this other girl says yeah i like you and then you jump that you dont really have enough with your current girl and your not being fair with her. Im not trying to badmouth you, but you have to ask if this other girl didnt appear would things still be fab with your girlfriend or just plain old ok ? You have to be fair all round here as there is more than one party involved and its not fair to think i dare not give up two years just in case, its almost like oh well i better stay where i am just in case this is the best it will get, thats not fair on anyone. If you can fall for someone else depspite trying not to, maybe the girl you are with isnt the one for you. This time around you may not get with the new girl, but what happens a little later down the line ? all this time your gf is oblivous. Address what is wrong in your current relationship first see if you find out what issues there are before jumping ship. But you owe it to your current gf to work out if you really want to be there or not, as its not fair keeping her hanging in until something more amazing might crop up!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2006): Only you can decide for sure whether or not it would be a good thing to leave your current girlfriend for this new girl. I suggest that you talk with this girl about how you feel and see how she feels towards you. That could really help you in making a decision. You don't want to leave your sweetheart for a new relationship that is non-existant. This girl may have already moved past her interest in you and be very content with her current boyfriend. It is also possible that she isn't satisfied with her current boyfriend and still has feelings for you. You will never know until you go find out. Ask her how she feels about you and about her current boyfriend. Also ask yourself if this girl is really worth giving up a good two-year relationship with your current honey. Think about how you feel about each of them. If someone were to stand them next to each other and ask you to choose between them, who would it be? Only you can decide, so definately think on it. You have to look before you leap. I really hope everything works out for the best for you in this situation. I wish you the best of luck.
~RJGirl
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