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female
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anonymous
writes: I have a big problem. My boyfriend of 2 months (been friends for 4 years) has recently expressed his concern for my friendship with an ex. Even though it wasn't official I was still seeing my ex up until I started dating my current boyfriend. The ex continues to call often and make indirect comments that lead my boyfriend to believe that he still wants to be with me. My boyfriend thinks I should stop talking to my ex because he believes that he is only keeping in contact for the off chance that I might get back with him for a 'one night' thing, and wants me to stop talking to him. I thought we were friends. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2006): It is my opinion that you should respect your boyfriend's feelings if you want to maintain a healthy, happy relationship with him. If it would make him happy for you to talk to your ex less, then you should probably talk to your ex less. To be fair to you, I don't think it is the current relationship you have with your ex that is making your boyfriend upset. I think the idea of you still keeping touch with your past flame makes him jealous of the relationship you two had. He's probably scared that old feelings still linger between you. To be fair to him, it's not hard to see where he is coming from. I find it is always best to keep past loves where they belong: in the past. If you would be willing to end your friendship with your ex to keep your boyfriend, I suggest you do just that. This will cause problems in the future, even if you and your beau work out a temporary solution. He can't help his fears, and in this case, he shouldn't have to be asked to. It's a common thing to worry about, especially when your male friend is also your ex. Whether or not he only wants you as his friend for the chance of a "one-nighter" I couldn't tell you, but it's probably best not to find out. I can't tell you what to do, but I hope I've made your options a little clearer. I wish you the best of luck with this. I hope everything works out okay for you in the end. Stay strong!
~RJGirl
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