| A
male
,
*endor
writes: My GF has a problem with the texture of penises and finds touching mine revolting. She was badly abused as a kid and won't talk to me about it and, to my mind, clear the gremlins by bringing them out into the open. I suspect this "touching" problem comes from these experiences.She is OK about having intercourse but I would like to be masturbated when she is unavailable during periods. Any suggestions would be welcome.
View related questions:
my penis, period, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2005): We all have to do alot of things for the person we are with because we want them to be happy and comfortable in everything they do .. surely you would rather go without this type of sexual contact than get it knowing your gf is unhappy and uncomfortable with doing it .. i do believe she does need to see someone to talk through all the stuff in her past but at the same time if you love her and want to be with her then going without any sexual contact during the few days of her period really isnt that difficult.
A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (18 November 2005):
 Probably the best advice would be for her to seek help from a psychologist who would be able to assist her with coming to terms with the abuse she suffered as a child. This is very important but more so for her as well as to help your sex life. It seems to me that she is still suffering very much from what happened to her before and she needs to open up. It worries me that she is having difficulty talking to you. Until she is able to talk to someone about what happened, will she be closer to resolving some of her inner demons about sex.
Be very gentle and understanding with her and not pressurise her. Tell her that you will always be there for her if she wishes to talk about what happened, you will always listen but do not demand that she does. Suggest to her that she sees a counsellor and that you want to support her. Allow her to know that you are in the background, offering comfort.
One more immediate suggestion could be for you to wear a condom and see if she will touch you. This way she won't feel the texture and may help to build up her confidence.
I think you need to give her lots of time, reassurance and comfort. Remind her how much you love her and that you are there for her. Don't make demands on her so that she feels pressurised into performing and remember the importance of affection as well as intimacy.
I hope this helps.
...............................
|
