A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am worried about my girlfriend's drinking to the point that I started recording mentally how much she drinks. I think she drinks more than all the women I ever knew. Here is the example: Monday, 2 drinks at home; Tuesday none; Wednesday 3 drinks with girls when she went out; Thursday 2 drinks with our friends at dinner: one beer, one glass of wine; Friday 3 drinks. Today she said she wants to stay home. May be Sunday there will be another 2. Usualy it comes to around 10 a week, and when there is a girls night out its 12. I don't know if it's normal. I read on line that 7 is the norm for a woman. So according to that she does drinks more. When I confronted her on that she said that she drinks like this since she was 21. She does have a high tolerance to alcohol, and I can't even understand when she is buzzed, she doesn't show. I saw her couple times drunk but not incredibly. She definitely doesn't have problem with everyday life concerning alcohol, she doesn't miss work, or gets sick. She also claims that there is need to worry as she doesn't have alcoholics in a family. What do you guys think ? Am I over-worrying?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2014): Thank you guys and girls for your answers. She actually had a surgery a year ago, and she couldn't drink for a week before and a week after, but shedid go out to dinner with me, just not to bars.
The most funny part for me, that she has 0 tolerance for drunk people when sheis not there yet. She gets very mpatient and irritated.
I guess may be I am overworked, but all the women that I know don't drink even half of what she does. She never ever doesn't have a glass of wine when we are out . Like yesterday she had 5 oz of sake and then 2 drinks at the bar and I swear she looked as sober as always. I don't understand how in this 130lb frame she is capable of not getting buzzed with so many drinks.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2014): To be honest this doesn't sound like a lot of alcohol, is it not 14 units maximum a week for a woman? I had drink and drug issues with my now ex though, have a look at my experience, but other factors were involved. If she's not drinking every single day and it's not impacting her life in a negative way I don't think I'd be too worried.
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A
female
reader, Ima FreAk!  +, writes (2 February 2014):
 Hiya,
You have got to be kidding me? That is one hell of a drinker!
Okay fair enough that people drink a glass or two to accompany their food but not a lot.
She needs to give her liver a break, and despite the fact that you have confronted her and she denies that she has a problem you shouldn't force her to go counselling etc.
Instead try finding out why she drinks a little more and maybe get her to reduce it.
There is nothing with over-worrying because you might actually save her!
As I am not a professional doctor but maybe you should ask profession advice about how much one should be drinking, and it seems (in my opinion) that she is exceeding the recommended amount, even though she isn't drinking everyday, when she does drink it can occasionally be over the limit ish.
I strongly recommend you ask a professional to get a better judgement that way you can help her too.
Hope my advice makes sense, I think I'm too wordy!
Love,
ImaFreak!
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2014): When you refer to "normal" drinking habits do you consider "normal" to mean?
A) what most people you meet drink?
B) what the government suggests as a healthy amount?
When it comes to governments - it varies from country to country as to *exactly* how much the average person should drink. It used to be the same in the UK as it is in the US - 14 units per week but the UK changed this advice as too many people interpreted this advice as the go-ahead to have all their drinks in one go at the weekend and get completely blotto.
Of course British units will be different from US units and I believe our alcohol varies in strength to yours (UK alcohol being stronger in general, especially when it comes to "beers" and alcopops.
This is what I have drunk over the past week
Monday - nothing
Tuesday - post rehearsal drink - 2 glasses of wine
Wednesday - director's meeeting - 2 glasses of wine
Thurday - post rehearsal drink - 2 glasses of wine
Friday - nothing
Saturday - party at a friend's house - 3 glasses of wine
Sunday (in anticipation) - pub quiz - 2 glasses of wine
In the UK I am considered a moderate drinker (even a lightweight by some).
So, no - I don't think your girlfriend has a problem with alcohol. She is not dependent on on alcohol (i.e she can not drink for a few days if needs be and this doesn't really bother her and she doesn't show any signs of a "problem drinker" (who may not be alcohol-dependant but alcohol causes them a problem in their lives)
"Problem drinkers" may show some of these behaviours
A) Taking frequent sick days because of over-indulgence (or having to spend all day every Sunday in bed recovering)
B) They HAVE to drink in order to enjoy themselves and feel unable to have fun in social situations if they can't drink alcohol (Such a person would, for example, when prescribed a 2 week course of antibiotics that react badly with alcohol, would choose not to go out at all during those 2 weeks rather than go out and just drink Coke)
C) When under the influence of alcohol they appear to become a different personality e.g. aggressive and belligerent, anxious and clingy, silly and impulsive, morose and depressed
D) Bad things always happen when they drink because they get so drunk or impulsive - fights, arrests, passing out, infidelity, suicide attempts... etc
E) They never know when to stop drinking and alcohol always leads to drunkeness unless something stops them. What stops them is usually something beyond their ultimate control - being physically restrained (arrested or thrown-out or partner drags them home) - running out of money or running out of booze or simply becoming physically incapable of drinking any more.
You say your g/f shows none of these behaviours so I conclude that her alcohol intake is not a problem
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A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (1 February 2014):
 I would say you are a little bit over-worrying, but to be more affirmative, we'd need more informations.Alcohol has a different action depending on people whose metabolism include some serious variation. If we consider japanese people for instance, they are numerous to drink a lot, but many of them are systematically drunk to sickness afterward. That's because the enzyme that makes the biotransformation of alcohols (dehydrogenase) often lacks in their body comparing to westerners. Nobody knows exactly why, but some people suppose it's the consequence of a different diet, westerners eating much more meat than japanese (at least was it so until recently).For my part, I drink everyday at least two glasses of wine during diner, and a (small) glass of rum (50 to 55%) as a digestive. Some days, depending on the occasions, I can dring more (some aperitifs, more wine + champagne etc.) but in my life, I've NEVER been drunk more than ONE time (because I had drunk a lot of beer + japanese sake during the same party with my friends, a bad cocktail but I didn't know it at that time).Am I an alcoholic ? Not at all, it seems Mother Nature gave me a strong body regarding alcohols. Maybe it's the same for your girlfriend.Yet, it's legitimate to care for the one we love, and if I were you, I would choose well my argument to dissuade her from keeping to drink "so much". Tell her alcohol is fattening. The gas contained by the beer distends abdomen (who still needs proofs of that ?) moreover the sugar that constitutes alcohols is stocked by the pancreas as fat: tell her about the orange peel syndrome, she for sure will know what you will be talking her about. After that, she might stop drinking so much (if not at all) but you will find her often examining herself in front of her mirror, feeling her cellulite.
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