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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Im usually the one who gives advice in relationships but now i need it more than ever. Back in November my g/f called me admitting that she cheated on me with her ex-boyfriend who she was with for 3 years. It was rough and i never saw it coming, but i forgave her in saying that everyone makes mistakes.Now in january shes been going to counseling and trying to get rid of her feelings for him and move on with me. The first week in january went great but the past couple days she just doesnt seem interested in me. Shes short with me when i start conversation and when i ask whats goin on she'll say "its nothing" or "its not always about you."How can I approach this situation and get her to smile and talk to me again?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): Im the person that wrote this. Before she goes to her counseling sessions, she says she doesnt want to go and its boring. Its like she could care less about the situation...by the way since i posted today i txted her saying if she wanted to go to the mall she said "it depends i have some stuff to do." 2 hours after with no response i just left..she pretty much stood me up.. i think the least she could of done was text me saying she counldnt make it and i wouldnt be so worried.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): Give her a little time and space to go through her sessions and come to terms with what she needs to do, to move on.
She's having to dredge up alot of memories and feelings as she talks things over with her counselor and she might be experiencing some back-lash in dealing with those emotions.
If after a few months, she's still acting distant and cold, there could me more going on with her. For now, be supportive, loving and try to keep yourself from taking her distance as a personal attack. If she says it's not about you, it probably isn't. Be patient. Hopefully this storm will pass and there will be calmer waters for the two of you on the other side.
Best of luck!
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