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My gf's behaviours have me confused! Does she see me just as a play thing?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 February 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 15 February 2007)
A male age 51-59, *allbloke writes:

I'm confused by my girlfriend. She's very affectionate, cuddles me all night long, kisses me and stuff. Cooks me meals. She talks about us doing stuff in the future too like going away to places.

Then when I ever say that I missed her or anything like that she just goes quiet. Also, she's not very caring, doesn't show much sympathy when I'm having a hard time. She's sympathetic to others though!

She also looks at other blokes a lot. I look at other women but I don't do it in a blatAnt way cos I see it as being a bit disrespectful, but that's just me I guess.

She also teases me about other blokes, film stars and stuff. I think she gets a rise out of it. She teases me all the time full stop actually.

Does she see me as a play thing?!!

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A male reader, tallbloke +, writes (15 February 2007):

tallbloke is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I spoke to her last night, I told her that if she wasn't that bothered about the relationship or she thought there was no future then she should say now. I said that I was OK with us breaking up.

She said that she really liked me and did want us to continue the relationship. If anything, she was more affectionate than ever.

I know you're probably thinking that she may just not want the relationship to end yet, but she is quite a caring person. I genuinely think that if she didn't want to go out with me, or saw no future, she'd have told me so. Yet again today she said she really liked me and wanted to know if I was happy with things now.

Perhaps her taking the p!ss out of me is her way of showing that she likes me, yet at the same time being distant and feeling that it'll keep me on my toes.

I hope that she is genuine, she seems it.

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A male reader, tallbloke +, writes (14 February 2007):

tallbloke is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I sometimes think that she's trying to get a reaction out of me. Perhaps she wants me to get p!ssed off with her or something. Why would she be testing me, to see if I'm insecure or to make me get aggresive perhaps?

I do try to give as good as I get, but I might move it up a level. i.e. really take the p!ss out of her in a more aggresive way because she is certainly pushing the envelope.

She's tall & thin, so I'll call her a gangly streak of p!ss ;)

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A male reader, tallbloke +, writes (14 February 2007):

tallbloke is verified as being by the original poster of the question

She doesn't come accross as being jealous at all, but maybe she's very secure.

I suspect that she doesn't like it when I don't get in touch with her. She went away last weekend & I think she got a bit miffed because I hadn't said that I missed her via text message on Saturday night.

I've thought about seeing her less for a while but that may not be the answer.

I do have feelings for her, that is the problem but I sometimes feel like I'm being used and I'll get dropped if something better comes along. She says that she doesn't go from 1 relationship to another but what people say and do are two different things!

Another problem I have is that if I confront her about how I feel, she'll do a runner!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007):

HOnestly, I think you are her toy-boy now. you can test her by admiring other women and girls that you see at the bar and see how she reacts. She might even be interested in a threesome if you want, which might mean that she's not seriously interested in you or might make her even MORE interested if she is that type. Perhaps she's just testing your patience and see how you react.

At the end of the day, you appear to be her toy-boy. If you like this scenario, you can just stick with it, or if you are looking for a traditional relationship, you have to approach her about it and see what she says.

I hope one day you will find true love.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007):

shes obviously attracted to you if she cuddles you and stuff, but it does sound like shes not in love with you and i dont mean to upset you, but it does sound a little like she sees you as a plaything. her looking at other blokes and you at other girl sounds like you two arent very serious about the relationship, because if my boyfriend was checking out other women, id be really hurt and probably dump him! how do you feel about her? if you dont love her either maybe you should just enjoy being her plaything while it lasts!

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