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*ason B
writes: My gf of 2 years is playing on my mind.I moved in with her 6 months ago after her parents moved away. We are house sitting for them. At the end of each month we have no money left after paying all their bills (including rates)..feeding their dog etc.Besides this, she always has mood swings. Even before we were living together. She will hold a grudge for about 4 days.She has been cheated on by two of her ex-bf's, So I think she thinks I am going to do the same, which I would never do.I have spoken to her brother in law about it, as her and her sister are the same. He said, 'That's them mate, you learn to deal with it'.But I dont think I can.I am too young to move out, only 20.I love my home, street and neighours.Each time I say I want to move home she yells and screams.'I just want to move home, not break up with you', I say to her, but she swears at me and becomes verbally abusive.I ask her not to swear at me but she still does.I don't know if I should just move back home and continue dating, or just end it and look for happiness somewhere else???I really love this girl though..I don't know what to do, sometimes I feel like just taking off overseas and not telling anyone.But I don't think running away is going to help me!Thank you all for your time.In to deepJason "Love and Mercy to all"
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reader, Christie +, writes (25 May 2005):
Dear Jason, Your g/f is just touchy because she likes living with you, and also likes to live in her parents house, if this is not for you maybe the idea of moving back home and continuing dating is a good idea. This could help improve your relationship and make you able to live together. The paranoia your gf feels brought on by her previous boyfriends will only be overcome with time. Give her time and she will learn to trust you again, it's just her past experiences have given her a low self asteem. You suggesting you move out, being actually serious, will cause some fireworks as she will feel insecure and he reaction will be violence. You must try and remember do not back down, but do not be force full get your point accros clamly and she will pay attention, hopefully things will end up going your way as long as you make sure she knows you love her. Take care.
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reader, Middy7 +, writes (25 May 2005):
OK, I've been through this, it's seperation anxiety. You two live together, and are probably around each other a good bit of the time. She may feel like if you move out you to will most definitely see less of one another, and this will slowly decline into a breakup. For me it did, but it doesn't have to. The fact that she has been cheated on before makes this problem worse, because the less she sees you the more she will wonder where you are sleeping that night. All you can really do to help this is tell her straight from the heart, how you feel and that her yelling is just pushing you away, and if she really cares for you she will listen to what you have to say, and if she just continues her behavior, maybe you should think about yourself, do you really want to be putting yourself through this. My dad once told me a story that kinda relates to your problem, he told me when you look at an elephant, its just so large that you only see one side, that you have to take the time to walk around the elephant to see the whole picture. Think of the elephant as your problem, take the nessecary time to think of a solution that suits all involved, or just you if it comes to that.. only time will tell sweetheart.
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